Dedicated to you
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Sequel to The simple Things.
1. Prologue

**_And if I should paint a picture too_**

**_That showed the loveliness of you_**

Biting her lower lip dreamingly Karen stayed quiet, leaned on the wall; observing the bags on the hardwood floor of her bedroom as the sun was tracing a bright path over them. She moved her ankle in a subtle motion as the heat of the sunlight came to caress her skin but she nonetheless kept her distance with the scene as if she were only trying to engrave it in her mind; the slightest detail that this summer morning was bringing to her life. Crossing her arms on her chest the millionaire smiled back at Will as the attorney passed the door and squatted down to start unpacking. A couple of silent seconds led her to some embarrassment for feeling in the way and after clearing her voice she frowned, looking at Will.

"Do you want some help?"

He stopped and stared at her before shrugging.

"I think it's okay."

Nodding shyly the dark-haired woman finally made her way to her bed and sat down on the mattress. It seemed a veil of awkwardness had wrapped up both lovers through some timid apprehension and so in spite of all the years they had known each other, they couldn't help but feel impressed somehow before this new step. Will was finally moving in; on a permanent base.

Taking off her high heels Karen settled further on the bed, laying down slowly; huddling up against herself. Her face was expressionless but her features remained soft and her gaze very deep as her hazel eyes were following the attorney's movements who turned around and looked at her. Sitting down on the floor Will came closer to her and let his fingers caress her cheeks with care; attention.

"Are you tired?"

The dark-haired woman shook her head before kissing his fingers as they passed on her lips.

"Not really; I'm just enjoying our quietness. It's restful and sweet."

Whenever she was leaving New York, Karen never had a look at the city behind, disappearing through the clouds, the waves or the other cars; depending on which mean of transport she had taken her pick on. She knew from experience that if she actually did, her throat would tighten its grip over her lungs, preventing her from breathing properly and her heart would cry in silence the temporary loss of the beloved sightseeing buildings. That's why in order to avoid an extremely embarrassing moment, the millionaire always concentrated on the most ridiculous thing. It didn't really matter what, as long as her eyes hadn't to cross the sky-crappers getting lost somewhere behind. But this time for some reason the journey sounded even more difficult and Karen's nervousness was already getting on everybody's nerves after only fifteen minutes spent in the car together.

Deciding that pulling Grace's hair wasn't that funny, the dark-haired woman yawned loudly and turned her attention towards Jack who was sat next to her on the backseats. A devilish smile played on her lips as her hazel eyes began to sparkle under a mischievous idea that only got her friend to panic. Settling further against the door Jack shook his head, refusing even before knowing the real nature of the plans the millionaire had in mind. As much as he loved Karen, the actor couldn't but recognize how painful the dark-haired woman was behaving right now. A furtive look in the rearview mirror and Will tended his right hand behind so that she may hold it. Nobody voiced any remark though as Karen grabbed it, calming down immediately; neither Grace nor Jack even though they would have never been able to explain the weird gesture.

The attorney was beginning to know Karen very well and a second was enough now to interpret her state of mind; those fears and worries she never said out loud. That's why her nervousness that could have been mistaken for a childish whim by most of the people had found a reassuring way in the simplicity but needed gesture. The millionaire was stressed for being about to spend a whole day at Will's parents' house because for the very first time, she would be there as the mother of their future grandchild.

She may had already married a couple of times before, her family-in-law had never represented any kind of problems for living too far from them unless they were already dead and so the dilemma couldn't even find a way through her mind. But the Truman's were still there, healthy and only two hours away from the Upper West Side by car.

Marilyn opened the door warmly though her aseptic smile and blow-dry made Karen freeze within a second and if it hadn't been for Will holding tightly her hand, the millionaire would have already turned around on her heels; driving off like a fury and vanishing at the corner of the quiet street. Trying not to pay too much attention to Grace and Jack's amused faces before her own shyness, the dark-haired woman sat down slowly on a sofa; her shaking hands put down on her knees, a forceful smile on her lips.

"Karen, stand up so that I may admire your curves!"

"George…"

Will's father looked at his wife and shrugged, apparently confused.

"I was speaking about her pregnancy!"

Karen stood up timidly and made an unbelievable effort not to twist her hands. She had started showing a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't any big but still, her stomach couldn't pass unnoticed and it was obvious that she was expecting a baby. George observed her in silent; how her dark red dress with an empire waist was emphasizing the new curves of her body, a fine black lace ribbon tied on her back. Marilyn's husband took her hand, kissing it softly.

"You look divine. Pregnancy suits you very well."

The dark-haired woman smiled, trying to ignore the heat invading her cheeks.

"Thank you."

"I'm sincere. And this baby makes us very proud of you and Will."


	2. An African mystery

**_If I should find a twinkling star_**

**_One half as wondrous as you are_**

She leaned her head and smiled, Will's arms around her waist as the newly-weds shared a kiss in the quietness of some lovely park; the green of the grass matching to perfection with the whiteness of the bridal's dress, the purity of their hearts. Caressing the attorney's skin and settling further against his chest, her back brushing his body, Karen contemplated her cousin's hand intertwined with his wife. The fusion was beautiful and sweet, perfect. A sigh of tenderness ran through the crowd of guests and as the couple finally broke apart a row of applause filled the whole area. Very soon small groups got formed all around, glass of champagne or orange juice in hand; laughs punctuating the light conversations and the exclamations of people we had thought we would never see again a decade ago.

Walking slowly along the artificial lake the dark-haired woman was observing the scene in silence, dreamingly; keeping her distance with the rest of the party. She had always loved weddings and their electric atmosphere. There was something unique in all these expensive clothes, the joy to be here celebrating; children playing around, running between adults with a singular innocence. It looked like the daily worries had been put aside for once and everyone was enjoying his time. She stopped and smiled at Will as he made his way towards her with a plate of assorted dishes. A soft breeze caressed her hair and she put away a strand from her face; her fingers sliding slowly then along her ivory linen dress before coming to rest over her stomach, her subtle curves.

The millionaire took the plate and kissed Will's lips softly before sitting down on the grass, leaning against a tree.

"Thank you, honey. I'm starving."

"I am too. You can try the smoked salmon; it's very good. "

Karen looked at the plate and pouted while focalizing on various cheeses the attorney had chosen.

"I assume I can't have some of those wonderful cheeses… I wonder why I come to a French/American wedding if I can't eat the French food. It's unfair. I can't even try the red wine."

"Four months more and you will be able to eat whatever you want, Kare. Well, unless you're breastfeeding."

She woke up the next morning staring blankly at her dress abandoned on the hardwood floor of their hotel suite, next to the bed. She could hear on her back Will's regular breath rocking her heart tenderly; her face plunged in the smooth pillow. After a couple of seconds the millionaire finally turned around and faced the attorney who was still sleeping. The sky was blue and the sun already high; warming up her cheeks in a maternal embrace. The park was spreading its trees below; their leaves dancing quietly through the French windows. She closed her eyes and smiled. It was all so calm, so quiet. Very carefully she passed an arm around his waist and came to rest her head on his shoulder; looking his chest going up and down.

"Good morning, lady."

The dark-haired woman smiled but didn't look up at him. Her fingers simply started wandering through his chest; very soon joined by her lips through a sweet kiss.

"You know I guess it's the first time I wake up without a headache after a wedding ceremony."

The attorney laughed quietly, vaguely turning on his side to face her; tightening his grip on her waist.

"And how does it feel?"

"It's extremely depressing though your presence next to me makes it bright."

Karen leaned up on her elbow and looked at him then winced before sharing their first kiss that morning.

Smiling politely at the other people the millionaire sat down at the table and took Will's hand in hers; not that she loved the effusion of tenderness before strangers but feeling the heat of his skin was reassuring and for some reason she needed it. The newly-weds finally arrived and the lunch started; conversations flying over the hours and it wasn't before late in the afternoon that everyone left the dining room, heading to the lounge or their suites. The place was big for not saying immense and you could easily find a way to enjoy your time as you felt like to.

Gray clouds had substituted the limpid blue sky of the morning though it didn't change her plans and Karen decided to go for a walk through the park; knowing that if she stayed inside the manor, she would fall asleep within a minute in spite of the baby kicking. It was like a soft caress against her skin; a sort of light kiss but lit up by a sensation of life, vaguely disconcerting. The first time it had happened the millionaire was having a shower. The water was running on her body and all of a sudden a dozen of drops had flown away from her stomach, pushed by the unexpected movement of a foot, a hand or whatever it could be. She had just gasped; then started laughing hysterically. It was the strangest thing she had ever experienced and without any doubt, the most addicting too.

"Karen it's going to rain. Are you sure you want to go out?"

The dark-haired woman moved forward in the alleys of the park, nodding while looking right in front of her at the row of trees.

"Then it will be even better…"

Her voice had got wrapped into a veil of mystery; her mind lost in the reminiscence of singular sensations that seemed to come back, little by little, to her. It was the first time she spent a weekend in this area but as soon as they had arrived the day before, she had been charmed by the quietness and the peculiar beauty of the park. She wouldn't have been able to explain it though she simply felt fine there; unless it was just for being with Will.

The first raindrops appeared very soon and the millionaire turned her face towards the sky; closing her eyes, getting embraced by the coolness of the water on her skin. After a few seconds she widely opened her arms and twirled around slowly like way back then when she was sixteen and the effect of pot was invading her veins.

"Karen, what are you doing? Are you high?"

She laughed and shook her head, taking off her shoes; the grass caressing her feet.

"No, I'm just twirling around like in South Africa."

Her white cotton dress was beginning to stick to her body under the rain; letting her skin appear through the layers of clear fabric, revealing her swollen stomach; but she didn't seem to care at all. She was simply smiling brightly, keeping on twirling. Will frowned under her last comment.

"You went to South Africa?"

"Yeah I lived there… I was nine. My mother tried a remake of Out of Africa. Of course she failed."

"What happened?"

The dark-haired woman stopped almost violently; her smile vanishing within a second, her features deepening under a heavy seriousness, the weight of an old pain. She locked her hazel eyes with the attorney's and as much as she wanted to be sweet, her voice sounded sharp and icy.

"Nothing happened; absolutely nothing."

She grabbed her shoes and came back in silence to the manor; mourning the spell that had just broken, and those ghosts coming back to her heart all of a sudden.


	3. A dry white memory

**_To you because your love is the beacon_**

**_That lights up my way_**

She picked up the stick and took off its cap, closing her eyes as she smelt the cherry fragrance of Chanel. It was a subtle aroma of fruits mixed with an ounce of patchouli and the resulting fusion was simply bewitching, perfect. Smiling she put it down back on the floor of the living room before grabbing another one in front of Grace's amused gaze. It looked like the millionaire had decided to walk her whole collection of lipsticks that were now sagely waiting for their turn next to the coffee table; like a row of soldiers ready to leave for some war. Her foot leaned against an armchair, Karen was enjoying her time in silence, delighted by the rainbow of colors offered by the makeup items.

"I got my first lipstick when I was five. It was a bright pink one; extremely vulgar now I'm thinking about it but by then I saw it like a trophy and never took care so much about something."

The dark-haired woman laughed under the sweet reminiscence of this time as a series of images was passing through her mind; little girls from the neighborhood coming to her home for a makeup session in the afternoon. She plunged her sparkling hazel eyes into her friend's ones and shrugged.

"I've always been very girlie.'

The baby kicked and Karen put an instinctive hand over her stomach, leaning further against the sofa, sat on the hardwood floor. The sun was passing through the windows, caressing her ankles softly, getting lost somewhere under her white cotton dress. The red-haired woman came closer to her friend so that her own fingers may get in contact with the swollen stomach; frowning under the uniqueness of such sensation against her skin.

"She moves around a lot, doesn't she?"

The millionaire raised her eyebrows and nodded, vaguely sighing.

"Yes she's pretty active down there. It's exhausting."

"How is it, Karen? How is it to be pregnant?"

The dark-haired woman looked aside, looking for the best words to describe her day-to-day feelings. She frowned, obviously troubled by the question; her fingers playing absent-mindedly with a strand of hair.

"I guess it's weird. I don't know if it's because of all the things it means or the simple fact I have someone inside of me. Well, that sounds a little creepy too. However you can't help but love it so much; every single second. I just wonder if it would work…"

Her hazel eyes disappeared behind a curtain of hair as the millionaire looked down; hiding her fears, her weaknesses. Grace frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing special; I may lack references, that's all. I missed a maternal figure and the family spirit so perhaps I shouldn't have this baby."

Will took a sip of his coffee and observed her features. They were similar to Karen's, with the weight of time on them perhaps but the luminosity of the sparkling eyes remained; brightly. The attorney smiled at Lois then took a deep breath; vaguely scanning the coffee store they had chosen for their talk.

"I didn't know you had lived in South Africa."

The millionaire's mother raised her eyebrows, surprised.

"I would have never imagined that Karen would tell you about it. She's extremely reluctant to speak about this period of our life."

She leaned over and winced at Will.

"Meryl Streep stole the role from me. But we lived more or less the same…"

"Something happened to Karen while there. Do you know what it is? She made a reference to it a couple of weeks ago and from then on she hadn't stopped having nightmares. She said it has nothing to do with it but I know she's lying. What did she live?"

The lightness that her face had carried on until now disappeared all of a sudden; as violently as the way Karen had reacted the day after the wedding while twirling around under the rain. Lois crossed her arms on her chest in a subconscious but protective attempt. Biting her lower lip she looked aside and stayed quiet for a moment before locking her eyes with Will's.

"It should have never happened; never."

She grabbed a chocolate chunk cookie from Pepperidge Farm, singing along the tune of Hairspray playing in the background on her stereo; vaguely dancing while entering her bedroom and focalizing on the clothes scattered over the mattress. She took off her shirt and put on one of Will's jumpers; too large for her body but suiting to perfection her heart. She loved having his smell on her skin; the soft illusion he was always there, next to her, quiet but nonetheless present.

Very soon she heard the door got slammed downstairs and Grace talking to Will. Still singing and dancing the millionaire called the attorney.

"I'm here, honey!"

She smiled as he finally made his way to her, passing the door; kissing her lips softly as she was still holding a cookie.

They broke apart but Karen didn't let go of her grip on him. For some reason she had missed him a lot and felt like staying there, in his arms.

"I rented a dvd and picked up some take-away before coming back here. Grace just left and Jack is on a date so it will only be you and me tonight."

The dark-haired woman flashed a bright smile and captured his lips again.

"What kind of movie did you take?"

Will grabbed her hand and they both went downstairs. She was sipping a glass of water when the attorney took the dvd and showed it to her. She didn't choke but froze for a couple of seconds before smiling shyly; embarrassed. Her features seemed to have lost the slightest ounce of vitality. She was livid. Hiding her shaking hands behind her back the dark-haired woman finally managed a movement, swallowing hard.

"It's an old movie, isn't it?"

"It's a very good one. I haven't watched it for ages. Are you okay, Karen? You're very pale all of a sudden."

The millionaire couldn't prevent from looking at the dvd; like hypnotized by the title and the image of the cover. She looked aside and nodded, vaguely murmuring.

"Yeah I'm fine."

She took a deep breath and grabbed the movie, heading very quickly to the television.

"Let's go for it."

Will sat down next to her and she settled in his arms uncomfortably; breathing loudly as the trailers appeared. And the title, with all its meanings.

_A dry white season._


	4. I just wanted to help you

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

Her silence and lack of comfort were growing little by little as the movie was going on; her feet moving nervously on the sofa, her hands so cold, almost icy. She had reluctantly grabbed the cardboard box of noodles but a wave of nausea prevented her from the slightest mouthful and the fork was simply wandering through the food; twirling around. Seeing the millionaire hadn't had a single bite, Will frowned; obviously perplexed.

"You're not hungry, Karen? You know you have to eat, at least a little."

The dark-haired woman nodded as a transparent smile played on her lips but as soon as the noodles reached her mouth, her own body simply refused it and so she put it down back; abandoning the take-away on the coffee table, disgusted. She knew for having already watched the movie and also read the book that it wouldn't take very long before the dreadful scene happening though the most she was coming closer to it, the most she was feeling sick. All of a sudden the air of the living room became oppressive and hot, humid. Karen began to swallow hard; a wave of heat running through her veins. She was breathing loudly, trying to concentrate on some spot; passing her tongue over her dry lips, sweat running on her forehead.

The car vanished on the screen and as the first image of the South African police department substituted the dirty road of the farm, the millionaire rushed out Will's arms; a hand over her mouth. The attorney stared at her in disbelief running to the nearest bathroom without even turning the lights on or closing the door behind. For a couple of seconds he stayed on the couch, astonished, while Karen was dealing with her unexpected sickness; not knowing what to do. Though hearing her being in such state made him stand up and join her very quickly; turning the lights on as he passed the door of the bathroom. The dark-haired woman was sat on the floor, leaned against the toilets; her tears getting mixed with the extreme paleness of her complexion, her eyes all red for crying. She was shaking uncontrollably. Will kneeled down next to her and grabbed her shoulders, panicked before such behavior.

"Kare… Are you okay?"

"They kicked the baby's head. They took Winnifred's baby and they kicked his head. There was blood everywhere. I think she was already dead. They had pushed her against the table and she had hit it violently. She never stood up again. But Little John was crying in his crib and they took him off of it before kicking his head."

She wasn't looking at Will but had closed her eyes like a useless protective shield against all these memories she would have loved to forget but they were too strong for that; and they were simply coming back after decades of ignorance. She was crying loudly, breathing with difficulty; repeating the same thing over and over. Her fears had invaded her bones, passing underneath her skin, reaching her fragile mind, her troubled brain.

"They put him on the floor and kicked his head and then he stopped crying and moving. He had blood all over his face. His lips were blue."

Another wave of nausea pushed her to lean over the toilets again and even though he was still confused and couldn't help but feel guilty, Will nonetheless caressed her back; feeling in the way and stupid. He kissed her shoulder and frowned, angry.

"I'm sorry, Karen… I didn't mean to push you so far, I'm… Oh God…"

Sweeping away the tears with the back of her hands her hazel eyes locked with his brown ones, staring at him in confusion.

"I saw your mother this afternoon and she told me what happened in South Africa. I know Wnnifred was your cook and she hid you in the storeroom when the police arrived. Of course they wouldn't have touched you because you were white but still. You witnessed everything; how they killed Winnifred and her baby for being black and defending their freedom rights. I know Lois found you there a couple of hours later, hidden behind the shelves and that's why you two left immediately. I…"

"My mother knew?"

The attorney looked in disbelief at Karen. She had stopped crying but a veil of ice had substituted her tears and she looked angry now.

"Yes she did. She was in town when it happened but someone told her about it. The man you were living with had denounced Winnifred for her fights but when your mother arrived it was too late and she found you there. You were nine."

"We never spoke about it. She never took me in her arms while she knew everything about it?"

"I guess she felt way too guilty for that. She had wanted to give you another dad and it turned out to be…"

"My dad would have never done that. I never needed another one. He died but I kept him alive in my heart. I never wanted another dad. I can't believe she did that to me…"

"She was feeling bad; too bad for making you live that."

"Don't do that, Will. Please, don't do that. You have no idea how I spent half of my life missing her and feeling so low and weak because when I really needed her and I turned around to see a reassuring smile, she wasn't there for that."

The attorney looked aside, frowning; embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought it would be… I knew you needed to speak about it, I just wanted to help you, I'm so sorry… I would have never imagined that you would react so violently."

Karen shrugged and looked down at her curves. The stress she had just suffered from had made the baby move a lot and she still could feel a kick from time to time; a sign of life though this time.

"It's not your fault, honey. I guess my current situation changed my perspectives. That's all."

After a couple of minutes they finally stoop up and headed upstairs. She plunged quietly in the bath Will prepared for her; the heat of the water sounded perfect against her body. She let him take care of her through a veil of sweet attentions and as her wet fingers caressed his cheek, she captured his lips softly and smiled.

"Thank you for helping me, Will. You're right. I needed it."


	5. Talking about effectiveness

**_To you because with you I know_**

**_A lifetime could be just one heavenly day_**

She stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but black lacy underwear, her hair tied in a slovenly ponytail; drops of water hanging at the end of some strands, falling on her nape. Vaguely aware of the fact anyone in the building opposite the street could see her in such half-naked state without any problem, Karen opened widely her wardrobe, taking her time before choosing a skirt she had bought a few weeks earlier at a pregnancy clothing store in The Upper East Side. That day of maternal shopping with Jack had turned out to be a complete nightmare when both friends had realized that a swollen stomach had absolutely nothing to do with fashion and while they were about to give up, way too much disgusted, they had found a local store lost in some quiet street where classic but elegant lines matched with pregnancy.

Grace couldn't help but laugh as she entered the bedroom and saw the millionaire adjusting the large elastic supposed to support her stomach.

"You're such a sexy lady!"

The dark-haired woman looked up and made a face then grabbed a v-neck cardigan; buttoning it quickly.

"We will talk about sex-appeal when you're pregnant, Gracie. And you will see what it is."

The interior designer sat on the mattress and scanned the room absent-mindedly before taking the last ultra-sound picture resting over a book on the bedside table. The image was fuzzy and dark though you could easily picture out the figure of someone, in white. It was all very small, almost surreal but a mysterious strength took possession of your soul as soon as you looked at it and observed life doing its work with a disconcerting logic.

"Have you thought about some name yet?"

Karen shook her head, smiling shyly. She loved speaking about the baby though she couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated when it came to it and so a veil of embarrassment used to wrap up her words; she simply stayed quiet. Sighing heavily she let herself fall down on an armchair, her legs up on its arms; looking blankly at the hardwood floor.

"As a matter of fact we haven't done anything yet and it starts freaking me out. We haven't bought anything, the bedroom isn't ready… The works for the bathroom haven't started either…"

"You're planning to do some works?"

The millionaire nodded, vaguely resigned.

"There's only one bathroom here, upstairs, and the only door that leads to it is in our bedroom so it's not effective at all. I want a second door opening on the corridor. Then we have no baby clothes, no baby bottles, no…"

"You still have three months left, it's okay."

Feeling a wave of anxiety spreading over her heart the dark-haired woman stood up all of a sudden and began to pace the room, biting her nails.

"No, it's not okay. Nothing is ready and I don't even speak about myself. What if I give birth tomorrow or this afternoon? That can happen and… Damn, I don't know anything about babies. I have like a whole collection of books about motherhood waiting for me everywhere in this house and I haven't started any of them. The covers look great, I watched them but… I don't know, it's going too fast. I'm going to be the worst mother ever. I should get my daughter adopted. The further from me, the happier she will be; and healthier too."

Staring at Karen pacing, the red-haired woman smiled; amused by her friend's sudden minor panic attack. Moments of weaknesses were rare with the millionaire but they always carried on a singular beauty, a sweet touch of humanity. As much as she tried to pretend the exact opposite, Karen had difficulties to deal with her day-to-day insecurities and it was charming. Grace stood up and grabbed her friend's hands, putting an end to her furious pacing.

"Karen, stop. Listen to me. You're doing it to perfection. Everything's fine. You're not late and even less baby ignorant. It's just a matter of organization. Where is Will anyway?"

"He's with Sammy at the Children's Museum. He should be back around 6pm."

"Okay then it gives up plenty of time to work on the bedroom, the furniture, the clothes and as a name I have a thing for Lily and May."

"But I can't decide of anything without Will!"

"I know but you still can start thinking about what you would like to get and I'm sure it will come very easily. You're a girl. You must have been thinking about it since you got your first doll at the age of two."

The dark-haired woman blushed and looked down, taken aback by the flagrant truth of her friend's last comment though Grace didn't pay attention to it at all and simply went on, stepping out of the bedroom; heading downstairs to Karen's laptop.

"Do you have cookies or we have to start working on the baby project outside?"

Overwhelmed the millionaire seemed to hesitate before finally answering.

"I have donuts somewhere in the kitchen."

With a disconcerting professionalism and effectiveness both women spent the whole afternoon checking the Ikea website, comparing furniture and painting colors; making a list of their favorite items before concentrating on online baby clothing catalogues so that they may have an idea about the prices and the things Karen would need since the very beginning while still being at the hospital. The attorney came back a few hours later just to find Grace and Karen laughing hysterically at baby names they were checking on the Web; eliminating them right away from a potential top ten. As Will went to the kitchen to prepare the diner, the dark-haired woman turned towards her friend, flashing a bright and sincere smile.

"Thank you for everything, Grace. Thank you very much, honey."


	6. A rain of doubts

**_If I should write a book for you_**

**_That brought me fame and fortune too_**

Karen giggled and looked down at Will mischievously as his hands were going up her legs slowly, applying with care body lotion on her skin. The heat of his fingers running permanently over her body brought a sweet sensation of tenderness to her heart; mixed with the boldness of her desires stirred up by such human touch. Sat up in bed the dark-haired woman spread her legs, giving more access to the attorney's gestures; revealing inner thighs through which the white lotion vanished suddenly as Will leaned over and kissed her fine skin, going up slowly. She closed her eyes and smiled, breathing loudly under the ministrations she was being given; his hands wandering now on her stomach.

Arching her back as Will made his way to her breasts, taking off her bra, Karen moaned; delighted by the warmness of his mouth and the coolness of the body lotion getting mixed in a subtle motion over her heart. She captured his lips and smiled in their hungry kiss; then grabbed his ear, her breath so moist and hot against his lobe.

"I should be pregnant more often… It's a good excuse to get a lot of attention."

Will laughed in her neck, planting light kisses on it as his hands were now travelling all along her hips.

"So let's go for another baby."

They rolled on their side and let their instinct guide them under the warmness of the blanket; the gray clouds of an afternoon lost at the end of September when the leaves of the trees began to fly away in a multicolored whirl of pale red and brown.

Before Will the millionaire had always tended to prefer the soft shades of the night to share intimacy with her partners. It sounded sweeter and reassuring. Inhibition didn't exist once it was all about figures lost in the darkness of the evening but it was different now. She didn't care that much; had no particular shame, on the contrary. The attorney seemed to bring to her heart the self-confidence she had been looking for previously, in vain. He hadn't done anything special; just let her understand through the honesty of his gaze that she simply looked perfect to him. Her uniqueness was all he actually wanted.

Passing a hand under his shirt her fingers caressed his spine before getting rid of the clothes; her quiet sighs celebrating the contact of their bare skin against each other's one. Karen was made of antithesis. Her closest friends knew about it but now Will shared another degree of intimacy with her, the millionaire's paradoxical attitudes seemed even more evident. A simple word, a gesture; anything could be interpreted like a complete lack of logic but it was in the most personal moments, the most private ones, that the attorney noticed the biggest difference between the dark-haired woman's appearances and this truth she simply couldn't hide for having no hold over it.

A veil of shyness and weak sentiments took possession of her soul all of a sudden and, lost in his arms, her hazel eyes were asking in silence for rest and peace; love and protection. She was so quiet by then, almost too much perhaps and it let Will disarmed, confused. She never said a word, her smiles and loud breath substituting her voice in the most singular way but she nonetheless never looked so alive by then.

"I'd like to know something, Grace… It's about women; yes, women things."

Will cleared his voice and looked aside nervously as he was folding the laundry; separating his clothes from Karen's meticulously. The interior designer frowned, vaguely amused.

"And what do you want to know, Don Juan?"

"Well… It's not easy… Do you… Do you ever talk about me with Karen? In an intimate way I mean."

Grace laughed nervously, trying to ignore the blush on her cheeks. Tracing invisible patterns over the white linen fabric of the couch, she simply shrugged, lowering her voice.

"She may have told me a couple of things, yes…"

"Oh… And hum… I was wondering… Is she…"

Both friends' embarrassment was such that they vaguely looked like a couple of shy teenagers not knowing what to say on their first date; when the conversation didn't stop being cut by long and heavy silences as they were both literally plunged into their respective glass of coke.

"Are all the women loud?"

Will finally dropped out his laundry activity and locked his eyes into his friend's ones; looking concerned and worried. Taken aback Grace needed a couple of seconds before managing to reply.

"I guess it depends on some things."

"What kind of things?"

"I don't know… It depends on women and on situations. If Karen is too loud and it bothers you then… I don't know, change your habits."

"She's not. She's not at all, that's why I'm asking. I don't have a lot of experience with women and I just hope I'm not… Well, I'm not going all wrong with her. She just doesn't say a lot, she's very quiet."

"Karen is quiet?"

"Yes she is. It freaks me out somehow. Did she tell you something about that?"

"No… At the same time if she weren't satisfied I'm sure you'd have heard from it for quite a while. She's having a baby with you, she's about to have a family with you so I assume she's completely… Well, it's all okay for her. And you know… Women are loud when they're drunk and for casual sex too. I guess we're quieter when our feelings are involved. Perhaps it's just that. You still can ask her…"

"Oh sure! Hey Kare, are you faking? Grace, stop your bullshit!"

"I'm sure she's not faking, Will. She wouldn't stay with you by pity. Besides for having been the girl next door for quite a long time… You're not that loud either."

The dark-haired woman rushed in with Jack, laughing hysterically; putting an end to Will and Grace's odd talk, for their highest relief.

Perhaps it was written somewhere; the rain, the darkness of the sky, this feeling of loneliness and cold spread over the streets on the late afternoon. Perhaps she should have stayed inside, reading a book, waiting patiently that the day came to an end and she would have closed her eyes peacefully in Will's arms; like every night. But she decided to go out. Accepting to meet the attorney at some bar after his work; to plan some things for the baby, she grabbed her purse, put her raincoat on but forgot an umbrella. Would it have changed the next events? Nobody knows.

She stepped out of the townhouse, vaguely running under the rain; water falling along her nape, getting lost in the depths of her clothes. When she turned at the corner a few steps away she was already soaked wet and she smiled; thinking how Will would be mad for her having left like that. She had to take care of herself, of the baby. Her pregnancy required a dose of responsibilities that she shouldn't ignore. She pretended not to listen to him when he came up with it but as a matter of fact, she thought it was cute; and sweet.

She stopped and leaned against a streetlight, catching back her breath; caressing her swollen stomach in a reassuring gesture. The baby was moving, surprised and troubled by the sudden acceleration of the dark-haired woman. She watched on her left, then on her right. She was late and already focused on the bar; on Will's arms she would find back very soon. She abandoned the sidewalk; her heels stifled on the damp asphalt. She should have looked better; taken her time. She saw the lights as a powerful and strident noise pierced the air. She vaguely saw the car; a dark one. Unless she had had already fallen on the ground and passed out.


	7. The Karen Walker Show

**_To you because your love is the beacon_**

**_That lights up my way_**

He wouldn't have been able to say if the doors got slammed or they were part of some electric system that stifled any kind of sound, trying to keep alive an uncomfortable silence over the place, because he simply rushed in; breathless and panicked. The journey from the bar to the hospital had seemed infinite and so slow. For the very first time as the streets of New York were speeding past through the window of the cab, Will had felt like he was losing his time and perhaps it was too late now.

To the unexpected call from the paramedics that had hit him violently had substituted a sentiment of guilt for not having worried when Karen hadn't appeared. She was always late; for some obscure reason she never managed to keep in touch with time and the slightest schedule. People who didn't know her thought she was being eccentric but when you got to know her better, as the attorney did, you knew it wasn't a whim. She just couldn't make it properly. But she always ended up stepping inside; flashing a bright smile or a simple mock as quiet apologies and it was over; so fast, so easily. You couldn't but forgive her, charmed by her singular presence.

But she hadn't passed the doors of the bar this time. Instead of it Will's cell phone had rung and what had come next had just been a succession of fuzzy feelings; incomprehension and fears.

He hadn't called Jack or Grace, unable to move or take the slightest decision; looking blankly at Times Square and how fade it all sounded behind the dirty window of a yellow taxi.

"Is Karen Walker here? I got a call… She's been hit by a car I guess… Her name is Karen; Karen Walker."

"Who are you?"

The woman behind the desk looked at Will with a disconcerting calm; the routine of the old days in front of people's misfortune.

"I'm Will Truman."

"Fine then I assume you're not her husband so have a seat and wait for the visits."

"But… We're just not married yet. Well, I mean… I'm her lawyer."

"I don't really care what kind of relation you have with Mrs Walker though if you're not family then wait here for your turn."

"But I'm the father of her child. She's expecting a baby… Can you tell me if they're both alright? I just want to know about that. Then I promise I will wait here; quietly."

"I'm sorry, Sir. I have no information about Mrs Walker."

Feeling his heart melt into an icy torrent of tears, Will turned around and sat down absent-mindedly; vaguely looking around him at the chaos of the Emergency Room, people in shock, like him.

"Will, how is she?"

The attorney jumped and looked up in disbelief at Grace and Jack; confused.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean by what we're doing here? You sent me a fucking freaking text message to tell me that Karen had been involved in some car crash or something and so you were on your way to the hospital."

"I did?"

"Yes you did. Damn, have you lost your mind?"

"Mr Truman?"

A scientist put an abrupt end to the conversation and the three friends looked at the man in silence; praying quietly for a happy ending. The attorney swallowed hard and nodded; vaguely thinking he still could wake up now and find himself in bed, Karen sleeping on his side peacefully.

"Yes, it's me. I'm Will Truman."

"Karen Walker wants to see you."

"She's not dead?"

The doctor laughed and shook his head to Jack.

"Not really; she managed to make a nurse cry and did the show while passing a scan."

"She got a scan? Is she okay?"

The scientist headed through the white corridors of the hospital, followed by Will, Grace and Jack; shrugging.

"We're waiting for the results of the x-ray and…"

"X-rays? But she's pregnant! How is the baby? Is she still…"

"Waiting for that too; the baby's under monitoring, Mrs Walker is having contractions. She lost a lot of blood so we may have to induce labor if her daughter results to be in danger."

"But it's way too early… We don't even have a crib."

Will made a face before the stupidity of his last statement but nobody seemed to notice it; they were way too focused on the doctor's gestures as he opened the door and let Karen appear, laid down on a bed; watching bad television. She had bruises on her arms and forehead; an IV on her wrist and her stomach was connected to the monitoring machine, quick beeps playing in rhythm in the background. She turned her face and looked at the three friends blankly for a couple of seconds before pouting.

"Bars are overrated. I thought ER could break up our routine."

A general sigh of relief and exasperation before her childish and inappropriate comment ran through the room and Will rushed to her, capturing her lips with an intense tenderness; afraid he could hurt her if he let his feelings win over his mind. Grace and Jack entered too, hugging tight the millionaire who, against all expectations, seemed to be on top form. Seeing the interior designer's wet eyes the dark-haired woman made a face of disgust and shook her head.

"Oh Grace, you're making me feel sick. Stop your desperate gaze. You look like a rescue puppy, it's disgusting."

"But are you fine, Karebear?"

"Of course I am, Jackie…"

"What happened?"

The millionaire frowned, looking by the window for a few seconds; vaguely troubled by the question.

"As a matter of fact this part of the story is a bit fuzzy. I guess a limo hit me."

"It was a Volvo, Mrs Walker."

"A Volvo doesn't touch me. So it will be a limousine, doctor."

After a couple of minutes of Karen's one-woman show, a nurse came in with the results. Instinctively Will grabbed the millionaire's hand, smiling at her as she simply winced. Her reaction was leaving him perplexed. She was a complete mystery. The scientist looked at the paper and nodded.

"It looks like you still have some time left before buying your crib. Your daughter is fine… As you are, Mrs Walker."

"I told you so…"

"It looks like you were right, indeed. Well we keep you here for the night and you will be released tomorrow in the morning."

"Can I stay here with her?"

"Sure you can Mr Truman. I'm afraid you will have to sleep on this armchair though."

The scientist finally went out, leaving an all-smiled Karen. The red-haired woman sighed, relieved and headed to the door.

"I'm kind of hungry now. I go for a chocolate bar or something. I'll be right back. I'm so glad you're okay…"

She hugged the millionaire very tight and left, followed by Jack. Will looked at them passed the door and was about to make some light joke to keep alive the sweet atmosphere when he turned around and saw Karen swallowing back her tears; her eyes closed, frowning under the pain, the fears, looking down at the sheets of the bed, her forehead leaned against the palm of her hand. The attorney sat on the mattress and took her small frame in his arms as her sobs finally came out and she burst into tears.

"I'm here, Kare."

Rubbing her back Will started rocking the millionaire, kissing her hair with love from time to time; trying to ease the pressure of her soul. But the tension of her fists and the strength she was subconsciously using while grabbing his shirt took their time before fading away slowly through a wave of quietness brought by Will's heat.

"It's over now, Karen. It's over now. I'm here, don't be afraid. It's over now."


	8. Breaking the magic

**_That book would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

The sky had never seemed so blue, so pure. Birds were flying majestically while people were walking peacefully through the streets and New York looked magical; bewitching. She stopped on the sidewalk and took a deep breath, smiling under the cool touch of life that ran through her veins. Holding Will's hand she turned her face and kissed his lips softly, happy to be there with him; alive and fine. They hailed a cab and left the hospital behind, still troubled by the darkness of the last events and the fear they had felt over their hearts.

"Aren't you cold?"

Closing her eyes before the bright sun Karen shook her head, her right foot caressing her left leg under the heavy blanket. While the attorney had taken a day off and decided to work at home, just in case, the millionaire had gone upstairs to lay down for a while and a couple of hours later as Will had finally taken a break, he had found her on a teak deckchair on the terrace; protected from the coldness of the fall by a simple plaid.

Will squatted down next to her and passed his hand under the blanket, caressing her thigh in a reassuring motion.

"What are you doing here?"

The dark-haired woman shrugged, her fingers getting intertwined with Will's.

"I admire the sky-lines. I love this city. Have you ever noticed we can see The Empire State Building from here? It's crazy. My life is highly connected to this roof, now. I'm in love with it."

The attorney finally sat down behind Karen on the deckchair, letting her settle her back against his chest as he passed his arms around her waist and adjusted the plaid over their bodies; his face resting against her head. For a couple of minutes none of them spoke or moved. They simply stayed still, looking dreamingly at New York spreading its charms before them but the millionaire laughed suddenly, breaking the spell.

"Why are you laughing, Kare?"

"We look like a couple of elderly people enjoying a sunbath before coming back inside for their daily check-up at the hospital. It's pitiful…"

She turned her face and plunged her hazel eyes in his; the palm of their hands resting on her stomach. Then smiled.

"But that's what I love the most right now."

Grace giggled, hidden behind a parental magazine; sat at her desk. For some mysterious reason and while for once she could have legally stayed at home to have a rest, Karen didn't stop insisting on coming to their office everyday; not doing that much but enjoying nonetheless implicitly their sweet routine. She would probably have never said it out loud though the millionaire gave a lot of importance to her friendship with Grace.

Confused before the interior designer's reaction, a bit curious, Karen frowned and smiled, sitting up on her own chair.

"Why are you giggling like that Gracie? Why am I missing all the fun? I already read this magazine and I didn't see any funny article in it."

Grace put down the publication and raised her eyebrows mischievously; biting her lower lip. Still confused Karen didn't say a word until it hit her mind and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief.

"It's all about the sexual positions, isn't it? You're such a perv, Grace!"

"Oh come on! I would have never thought about this aspect of a pregnancy and…"

The red-haired woman looked aside, her fingers sliding over the cover of the parental magazine. She cleared her voice before shrugging, staring shyly at the millionaire.

"Is it true? I mean… All the things they say in it… Is it true?"

"What do they say?"

"Well you know… The feelings and all. They say it's better when you're pregnant; different but better."

Karen giggled nervously and passed her hand on her nape, looking down; shrugging. She looked intimidated.

"Yes it's different. Of course it is. I mean, look at me, Grace. Look at my stomach. I'm only seven-month pregnant and according to the stages, I'm about to win over regular proportions while I'm already… Well, I'm afraid there's already some things I can't do anymore; some… positions I can't handle either and it's going to be worse very quickly. So it's all about adaptation now."

"Are you more sensitive, as they say? I mean… Well, it looks like it's cloud nine if we pay attention to their words! I should reconsider an eventual pregnancy…"

"I guess it's better yes though I'm not sure it's because of my new curves. It must be because of the situation and all its meanings; and the person I'm with to share it."

"You're probably right but let me keep alive this odd fantasy. We never know. However if it's that good for you well you're kind of quiet. I spent a whole week in the bedroom next door because of this rat thing at my flat and I didn't hear anything!"

"But you tried to? Get a guy...! Damn… Grace, what do you want, a webcam?"

Karen made a face and pretended to be offended but she didn't feel like playing for once, teasing Grace; and so she smiled at her friend, blushing.

"I'm not that loud you know. There's no need I wake up the whole neighborhood."

"Don't tell me you think it's vulgar…"

"No, it's not! I just… Well… I… I can't."

"What do you mean by you can't?"

"I don't get it, that's all!"

The contrast between the interior designer's confusion and the millionaire's embarrassment was loud and weird; almost comical if a third person had happened to witness the scene. The roles seemed to have been reversed for once and none of both women knew how to deal with such unexpected situation.

"Karen, I'm afraid I don't understand anything. You don't get it? How come? Sorry, no pun intended…"

"I don't really know but I just can't get it… It's the first time it happens to me and…"

"Are you ashamed because it's Will?"

"No, of course I'm not! On the contrary… With Will it's… It's different. And I guess it's… It's too intense. I just can't get to speak or let the slightest sound escape from my throat. Well you see, even now I'm a loss for words!"

"Then slow down if it's too intense. He doesn't have a lot of experience with women, you know."

Karen laughed and shook her head.

"It's not about pace but the intensity of my feelings. I can't explain it because I've done bolder things in the past, you can believe me. We're pretty classic as a matter of fact but… I never felt that before. Whenever he… Well, whenever we are… You see… It's like I'm taken away by a sort of whirl of intensity and it steals my voice and my words."

"Will lets you speechless; that's huge."

"Yes he does! I'm not able by then to articulate the least thing. I need to concentrate on my feelings and my breathing."

"Or you would pass out? Damn you're lucky..."

"Passing out would be exaggerated but I just can't speak…"

A wave of panic suddenly wrapped up the dark-haired woman's mind and swallowing hard, she looked at Grace with a desperate expression on her face.

"Oh God don't tell me he thinks I'm weird or… Shit!"

The millionaire put a hand over her mouth in a protective attempt; as if the words wouldn't join the space of reality and so she would only have ridiculous ideas. The interior designer shrugged, vaguely apologizing before Karen's realizations.

"Perhaps you should try to tell him something about it…"

She broke apart their sensual kiss and let her lips rest on his cheek; her legs still wrapped around him, her breath loud and fast. She loved when they stayed still like that and she could feel him come back to a peaceful cardiac rhythm. It was when she really felt like they had become one and couldn't work out without each other. They weren't twins but soul mates, reacting alike; at the same time. And the heat of his body in hers was enough to make her heart tip over for the rest of the night.

Swallowing hard Karen grabbed Will's face between her hands and plunged her eyes in his; feeling his breathing against her lips, so close. Frowning she finally managed to smile; embarrassed though, then murmured quietly.

"I don't fake, honey."

Perhaps it was all in her features; she didn't look sad but sorry. Unless it only sounded ridiculous, extremely stupid. They couldn't have said though they suddenly burst out laughing before the millionaire's statement and as she kissed his lips softly Karen made a face in a cute motion of apologies.

"I guess I've just broken the magic…"


	9. Teasing games

**_To you because with you I know_**

**_A lifetime could be just one heavenly day_**

Sighing, she reluctantly got back concentrated on the series of words dancing in front of her hazel eyes; a monotone list that only managed to get her bored and even vaguely disgusted, pissed off. Plunging her nose in the thick book, Karen's mind didn't win over her sudden but well-known impatience and one more time the millionaire abandoned her reading to contemplate the soft shadows of pumpkins and candles lighting up the streets. From the coffee store she had chosen she looked with a certain pleasure and amusement at the kids of the area taken away by the imminent excitement of Halloween. Just a week more and all those spider's nets and scary decoration would reach their annual moment of glory in the darkness of the night; all over the country.

"Next year you will take part in it with your little gremlin."

"So she won't be Sheherazade? I'm surprised, honey."

The dark-haired woman turned and kissed Jack's nose as he sat next to her; holding a pumpkin mug of hot chocolate. Before her even reacting, the actor had already picked up the book and was now leafing through it furiously with a note of seriousness that accompanied in a singular motion his childish exclamations and silly comments. Karen smiled politely and came back to the observation of the street; the turmoil on Amsterdam Avenue and the unique shapes of The Lincoln Center on the opposite sidewalk.

"Which color have you used to highlight your favorite names? I can't see it… Take fluorescent pink, that's absolutely gorgeous."

"I chose a transparent one or better said, Will and I chose a transparent one."

Jack shrieked, in shock.

"Oh my God, you don't have a name? But that's the funniest part of a pregnancy, Kare! What are you waiting for, your daughter's graduation in Harvard?"

"She'd better not go to Harvard. I don't know, honey… We have no problem with choosing Chinese take-away or the color of the baby's room but the name… We can't remove it if we don't like it at the end; or throw it away and eat a pizza instead."

"What's your grandma's name?"

The millionaire stared at her friend with a mock of horror on her face.

"Her name was Beathag."

"Her name was what?"

"Beathag; it means "life", it's a gaelic name. And my other grandma was Ceirios. It means "cherries" so as you can see the grandma option is far from being the right one."

Jack looked aside, taken aback by the truth of the millionaire's remark. A truck passed in front of the Starbucks noisily and put an abrupt end to his daydreams. Pushing away his mug the actor stood up and grabbed Karen's hand before wincing at her playfully.

"Come with me, beauty. We have plenty of shopping to do before this evening!"

The dark-haired woman smiled and both friends made their way outside where the unexpected coldness of the late afternoon made them huddle up against themselves; tightening their grip on their coats, his arm around hers. The streets of New York were peacefully rocked by a daily turmoil of tourists and business men; everyone walking according to his own pace, the own regularity of a stressful life, pleasant vacations. When she was still living in The Upper East Side, Karen used to spend a lot of time leaned against a window of her penthouse. It all looked so small from up there; a permanent coming and going of ants. But she loved this vitality that seemed to result from the sweet chaos taking place on the asphalt of Fifth Avenue; the sounds stifled as you reached the last floor of her building. It sounded calm but so alive; so tempting.

She took off her top, abandoning it on the floor with a dozen of other clothes, the less lucky ones that hadn't had the chance to land on the mattress with the rest, and stepped into the shower; closing her eyes as the water began to run on her face. There was something unique and relaxing about those million drops sliding along her skin; sort of light and sensual kisses; she just would have preferred them to come from Will.

A noise in the background made the dark-haired woman turn and she smiled at the attorney; waving through the curtain. Very soon she grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower, kissing his lips softly before turning back her attention to her own reflection in the mirror.

"Karen…"

The millionaire rolled her eyes and nodded, a bit exasperated.

"I'm fine, Will. I'm perfectly fine, just pregnant. Don't be worried, I'm not about to pass out or give birth right now on the floor of the bathroom."

"You're holding your stomach though. Are you in pain? I'm just afraid it's not a good idea…"

"I don't have contractions. It weights a lot, that's all and so sometimes it's not really comfortable. It's just a nightclub, honey. You will be there, Grace will be there, Jack will be there so everything will go to perfection and if, for some reason, I don't want to stay there anymore because I feel like it's not good for the baby, I will tell you about it. I promise."

Lipstick in hand she passed her arms around the lawyer's waist and plunged a mischievous gaze into his brown eyes; lowering her voice with sensuality.

"And I'm all yours tonight. You can do whatever you want with me…"

Her flirting behavior seemed to get the right effect on Will who sighed, abdicating, and leaned down to kiss her lips.

The music was loud but she had really missed it; the soft lamps and the crowd on the dance floor, the counter of the bar and the bottles of alcohol sagely lined up behind. She looked at her fruit juice cocktail then stared with envy at Grace's Cosmopolitan. Sometimes life could be really unfair. Thanks to Jack's new attraction, the DJ of the club and the reason why they were there that night, they had found a table and some available armchairs in the corner of the immense room, vaguely plunged in the dark. Karen was about to ask the interior designer if she knew where Will was when she saw him leaned against the counter, speaking to some girl while waiting for his glass. Clenching her fists the millionaire stood up, vaguely disguising the difficulty of the act in itself now she was seven-month pregnant, and smiled coldly at Grace.

"I'm off to dance."

The red-haired woman nodded and followed with her eyes Karen's way until Will. She couldn't help but smile, amused, as she saw her assistant grabbed the attorney's hand, leading him right away to the dance floor; not even having a look at the girl he was chatting with. Jealousy was cute all of a sudden. She kept on looking at the couple for a few minutes; how Karen was dangerously molding her body against Will's, putting his own hands on her lower back before murmuring something in his ear; unless she was kissing him. From her seat Grace couldn't really tell.

The attorney gasped as the millionaire began to suck his lobe; biting it playfully as her knee was caressing his inner thigh with provocation. His hands that had travelled down to her buttocks suddenly stopped and he swallowed hard.

"Karen, stop that. I'm afraid I won't be able to dance if you keep on doing that."

The dark-haired woman burst out laughing and broke apart; locking her eyes with his.

"I can do whatever I want with you, can't I?"

The attorney smirked before leaning down, his tongue sliding slowly along her fine skin; jut under her lobe. Her heart speeded up its pace and her breath became loud as now it was Will who was coming closer to her whole body without the slightest inhibition. His lips finally left her skin and he flashed a bright smile.

"I can do whatever I want with you, can't I?"


	10. Bathtub and bodysuits

**_My art would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

The drops ran on her leg as she took it off the water and her tiptoes came to caress Will's thigh. The attorney turned around and smiled at Karen, covered by the soap, sat in the bath. She had tied up her hair but for being too short some strands were hanging loosely all around her face; softening the grace of her features. The millionaire raised her eyebrows, then pouted; her arms leaned on the edge of the tub.

"Hurry up, Will, and come here. I'm hungry."

Getting rid of his boxers, he shook his head in disbelief; a feigned mock of exasperation on his face.

"What a romantic person you are, Karen. The Bridges of Madison County is absolutely nothing in comparison with your sentimental remarks."

"I prefer The Piano. It's dark but beautiful; exactly as love is supposed to be."

"Hey, what are you looking at?"

Looking up slowly until her eyes met his brown ones, Karen didn't say a word; just shrugged and smiled, biting her lower lip in a false motion of innocence. The attorney finally made his way into the bath, putting an end to the dark-haired woman's quiet contemplation of the masculine anatomy but very soon she found a bolder substitution and her foot began to run up Will's ankle; reaching slowly his inner thigh as he sat down opposite her in the tub. Trying not to pay attention to him grabbing the dreaded book, the millionaire concentrated on her mischievous ministrations under the water but Will's determination slowed down her gestures.

"Give me a number, Kare."

"Spread your legs."

"Karen, give me a number. We have to choose a name."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, trying nonetheless to go further into her bold explorations. Batting her eyes, she smiled at him playfully.

"Let's go for 69…"

The attorney didn't pay attention to the double meaning of the millionaire's reply and opened the book at the corresponding page but frowned very quickly, stirring up Karen's curiosity.

"Why… Don't tell me it's that bad, Will."

"No it's not… If you like Mirabelle."

Exasperated the dark-haired woman moaned and leaned her head backwards; frustrated. For a couple of seconds she stayed still, observing the ceiling of the bathroom and how the light was bringing a soft shade to the white painting. The attorney vaguely moved his legs, allowing her foot more access and she looked back at him; shaking her head, hands in the air.

"I give up, honey. Honestly, I can't get it. I'm physically and mentally unable to find a name for our daughter so I let you decide. Now I just want to have sex so come, let's work on it."

"Have you lost your mind? I'm not going to take such decision by myself. What if you can't bear the name I will have chosen?"

She passed her tongue over lips and nodded absent-mindedly.

"Here are three mini-questions. Answer to them immediately, honey. Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Vanilla."

"Sea or mountain?"

"Sea."

"Brad Pitt or George Clooney?"

"George Clooney of course!"

"Then you can decide for the baby's name. We have the same tastes. I trust you. I know you will find the perfect one and I will love it as much as I love you. And… Well, how about a compromise?"

"What kind of compromise?"

The millionaire plunged all of a sudden in a veil of shyness and she looked aside; a bit embarrassed while her foot was now resting on Will's extreme inner thigh, leaned against the side of his bare stomach.

"You choose the first name and I choose the last one. Of course she will be a Truman but I would like her to get my own name too because Delaney is who I am. I ignored it for too long while I should have been proud of it because it comes from my dad."

Will stayed quiet and still for a couple of seconds, staring blankly at Karen whose gaze was lost in the contemplation of her fingers on the edge of the tub but all of a sudden he grabbed her ankles and wrapped his legs around her waist; coming closer to her as his unexpected movement caused little waves. Locking his eyes with hers, the attorney kissed her lips softly before smiling; the palm of his hand caressing her cheek.

"I accept the deal."

She grabbed the little blue dress and passed her fingers over the soft cotton, enjoying the touch of the short sleeves under her skin and the classic but beautiful line of the clothes; its square neck with a fine embroidery to emphasize the elegance of the result, matching to perfection with a pair of Greek brown leather sandals. The ensemble was simple but carried on the confidence of taste. Grace looked at the dress and shrieked.

"Oh my God it's so cute! You have to buy it."

Karen smiled evasively and nodded, putting the baby clothes on her forearm before turning back her attention to Bonpoint collection.

"The look 22 is great too."

The interior designer looked at the corresponding ensemble and bit her lower lip in front of the cuteness of a silky Babygro in red shades with little flowers on it; and its matching red cotton cardigan.

"I want a baby, Karen; or a doll. Just give me an excuse to buy those clothes."

"Will is going to kill me. I already got like five rompers and thirty bodysuit at Gap. Why did we stop at Bonpoint?"

"You insisted. You said it was opposite the street. You just didn't precise which street but there's no need to mention it to Will."

"I still need some kimono tops and then we will be okay. Anyway how could I resist the purple Converse and the bibs? Oh and I need some bras too. I'm going to explode in those ones."

"It's pretty gorgeous though. If only I had..."

"No, honey. It's heavy. My killer rack is killing me."

The dark-haired woman made a face to show her lack of comfort, vaguely shrugging and adjusting her present bra with the back of her hands; emphasizing even more the low-cut she was wearing. Grace didn't say a word but smiled, a bit embarrassed and confused in front of her friend's evident nervousness. They had started shopping for a couple of hours now and Karen had never seemed so excited and nervous for whatever reason; putting all her energy into dialing furiously the code of her American Express.

The millionaire was reaching the top of her excitement by picking up half of the clothes of the baby store when she suddenly turned around and almost bumped into Grace; looking at her desperately, dresses and pants literally covering her arms.

"I don't want to get married again. Within a month now we will celebrate our first anniversary. What if Will proposes me?"

Her voice had sounded weak, stifled by the dilemma it seemed to cause over her heart. She frowned while looking at Grace and bit her lower lip.


	11. I know where I've been

**_To you because your love is the beacon of my life_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

"Oh my God, Karen you're going to get married!"

The millionaire and Grace turned around and looked at Jack in disbelief as he had just made his way into Bonpoint, jumping and clapping his hands under his excitement.

"What do you mean by I'm going to get married? Spill it out!"

Breathing louder and louder, the dark-haired woman was witnessing, disarmed, the imminent death of her soul; her lips getting dry, her heart beating fast, too fast. The timing had been scarily perfect which could only be a sign, a very dark one according to her own desires. She had just had time to say to her friend about her wedding fears that Jack had rushed into the Madison Avenue store and broke the most dreaded news she could have heard. But the evident tension winning over her features put a sudden doubt into the actor's mind who started second-guessing his statements; and his coming reply. He knew the millionaire too well not to prepare and adapt his reactions to her; just so that he may avoid the worst.

"Well… I might have seen a catalogue of Tiffany's on Will's desk at his office…"

Karen restrained a moan of despair and looked back at Grace.

"I told you so!"

"You already knew about it, Karebear?"

The dark-haired woman didn't answer Jack's questions. She simply put down the pile of clothes she was still holding and left, slowly, clutched to her previous purchase from Gap. Very soon the interior designer caught her up but she shook her head and looked down.

"No, honey, don't. I need to be alone."

She disappeared in the crowd of The Upper East Side in a sad motion, troubled. Nobody would have guessed how much she would have loved to cry; her voice had just sounded low and blank, too pale to be considered as alive.

_I always hated taking decisions. Settling down a whole series of events is scaring; I don't want to carry on the weight of my faults and all these responsibilities. I might not have grown up entirely yet or I simply lack self-confidence. Nobody knows about it, not even Will. It's easy to lie and pretend I'm not like that. I embraced appearances just not to get hurt by life because it's hard, you know. It's really hard sometimes. But there's nonetheless something addicting in this world; a whirl of feelings that pushes you to adore it and so you keep on breathing, smiling and crying and you think you're lucky. Look at those children running on the grass; look at this couple sitting on a bench. They don't seem to be happy; they are as I hope you will. Be honest with yourself, honey. I know I won't change anymore; it's too late and people made their opinion about me. I can't disappoint them so I will just keep on playing along. Anyway who cares about what mymind is wishing for? _

_I guess I've been wrong, that's all; and now I pay for it. I'm scared and coward; hurt and lonely. I have a ton of wonders wandering through my head but they only bump into the nothingness of my soul for not being who I am or what I'm supposed to do here. My confusion became a dear companion through the years and I'm afraid I fell for it. I can't live without it, I can't change everything but I can't handle it either; my regrets. Just promise me you won't do the same. Reassure me; because all what I know is that I love you as much as I love Will._

She didn't jump, surprised by the sudden warmness of a hand on her shoulder; just closed her eyes and held it tight. Central Park vanished and took possession of her heart; all its noises, its smells and life. A light kick made her smile and she settled on his arms as Will sat down next to her on the bench and kissed her temple. Her shoes brushed a bag from Gap that she had abandoned on the ground before stopping in the middle of the green area and thinking.

"I spoke to the baby."

She looked up at the attorney, vaguely wondering how he had guessed she was there.

"I love you, Will."

The heat of his neck against her face led her tension to come out and the tears began to well up, running on her face as millions of glimmering and quiet diamonds; too precious to hurt. She took a dep breath and enjoyed Will rocking her silent pain for simply being alive and feeling.

"Do you want to listen to some music?"

Karen nodded, smiling under the sweet gesture that would have passed so common for most of the people but meant so much in her intimacy with Will; something nobody would never understand but them for belonging to the singularity and uniqueness of their story. He put on his Ipod and her features softened, lighting by the grace of love and well-being as the song came to caress her ear; and the millionaire hummed along with Will.

_I know where I've been._

They came back home while the stars had already invaded the sky for a long while; the coldness of New York in the winter wrapping them up in a nostalgic atmosphere. She took off her coat quietly and abandoned it on the couch, her heels resting haphazardly on the hardwood floor. And without saying a word her hand caressed Will's and she leaned over to kiss him; confessing her fears in the silence of her words and the honesty of her heart, beating loud under his touch. They made love in the shadows of the streetlights reflected on the walls and the white ceiling of the flat; bewitchingly troubled by a sensation of care and weakness that seemed to embrace their souls.

And Karen felt alive under the brightness of her life when she dared to open her heart.


	12. Cuzco and other stories

**_If I should find a twinkling star_**

**_One half as wondrous as you are_**

She leaned her head on aside and smiled quietly with sweetness in her eyes; sat down on the hardwood floor. She was wearing dungarees, a white cotton t-shirt and her hair, tied up in a slovenly ponytail, fell down around her face in a charming and natural grace that Will, sat in front of her, loved more than anything. Resisting the urge to lean over and capture her lips in a tender kiss, the attorney simply nodded, then sighed before the task that was waiting for them all around.

"Are you ready?"

The millionaire scoffed and shook her head vigorously; a mock of horror lighting up her features.

"Honey, don't take it bad though I will never be ready for that. I don't even know why I'm doing it…"

"You're dying for it, Kare. You can say whatever you want; you clearly want to do it."

"Bullshit."

Will sat up on his knees and laughed before kissing her lips and standing up, scanning the room around him.

"Okay then so you do the bedroom; I'm in charge of the bathroom."

Her high-pitched voice pierced the air, getting the silence of the flat icy as the dark-haired woman shrieked under his last statement.

"I'm certainly not going to do the whole room! Have you lost your mind? I suck at it. Besides, the only thing I am dying for right now is a hot chocolate with whipped cream and those peppermint cookies you made last week with Samy. Don't even dare to tell me that you know what I want or what I need or whatever I can get, Wilma! Nobody but me can and is allowed to do that so…"

Will was looking at Karen with an evident amused gaze; nodding and mimicking her childish and ridiculous comments, playing all along to give her the reply she was waiting for. It may have sounded unbearable for strangers but the attorney had learned about those false whims; little teasing games of hers. Made up conflicts were sweet and reassuring; almost warm somehow. She could rush in a room, taken away by the fury of her nerves and the second later melt for an act of tenderness and love. She was electric but unique. Besides he had a thing for the red invading her cheeks as soon as she started a new fit of anger. It gave a singular shade to her pale complexion and she suddenly looked like one of these porcelain dolls which fragility flirted with an odd sentiment of strong aura.

"And stop mimicking! I see you, Wilma! How dare you…? Then you can believe me, you're not about to touch me again that soon!"

The attorney leaned over and planted a kiss on her head before stepping out of the bedroom; leaving Karen alone among her fake anger and feigned shock; little scandal in itself.

"Wilma Truman! Get over here!"

Rolling his eyes, the attorney turned around in the corridor and came back in the bedroom; looking at the millionaire fighting with a paintbrush against an invisible enemy. Swallowing back a wave of laughs that was only asking for coming out loudly, Will frowned; biting the inside of his mouth, controlling his words.

"What's wrong, Kare?"

"How the hell am I supposed to stand up on my feet if you're not here? Come on, hurry up! Give me your hand!"

Will did and passed the back of his hand on her cheek; trying to bring back a calm atmosphere that she needed but a veil of worries stopped by her face and she pouted; balancing on her feet, embarrassed and uncomfortable before locking her hazel eyes with his brown ones.

"I am really not good at it, honey. It's going to be a complete disaster. I tried once and it just ran all along the walls; it was so ugly. I don't want to spoil the bedroom. What a gift I would give to our daughter then. It's shameful… Could we switch?"

Her voice had found back at last a quiet and peaceful rhythm; the taste of honesty getting mixed with the sound of confession and she simply looked weak. Will sighed, divided by her request but nonetheless touched by her sweet despair.

"You want to break the wall of the bathroom and put the door then? Well it's a lot of work, Karen. I'm not sure you should in your state. It's exhausting and you're almost eight-month pregnant now."

Shrugging, the millionaire began to let her fingers run on his forearm absent-mindedly; tracing little circles that her eyes followed blankly.

"It's just a hole, you know. Besides the wall isn't that thick… The one I was in charge of in Cuzco was definitely bigger and thicker, you know. And those silly little Indians never offered me their help…"

"You were in charge of a wall in Cuzco?"

With the most common look Karen nodded; evidence imposing itself in her mind while confusion was taking possession of Will's.

"Of course I did more than the construction of the houses; especially when we headed to the heart of Amazonia but still."

Trying to enter Karen's own logic, the attorney finally abdicated; a bit reluctant and scared at the beginning but after a quick glance at her work, he couldn't but recognize the dark-haired woman's professionalism in deconstruction.

He was starting the last wall of the bedroom, the previous whiteness disappearing behind a layer of pale purple as his cell phone rang all of a sudden. Putting down carefully the paintbrush, Will picked up the item and sat down as his mother's voice resounded on the other end of the line.

"Hi, mom… No, we're doing some works. I'm painting the room… Yes… Resting? Not really… Sure, hold on a second!"

Covering the receiver with his hand, the attorney called Karen who made her way to the bedroom; her hair in a complete mess, white dust all over her face and clothes, whitening her dark strands. She took the phone and after a couple of questions from Marilyn she flashed a bright smile.

"Oh I'm in charge of the wall! I made a big hole and I'm presently installing the new door… Tired? Damn, no! I'm having a blast! The old good times, you know."

The night had fallen over New York quietly; fluid shades of souls substituting the turmoil of the day, wrapping the streets up in a sweet embrace of melancholy, a sort of old charm that didn't seem to fade away in spite of time passing by slowly. Her feet caressed the hardwood floor until she stopped, feeling its warmness against her skin; the firmness of the ground that contrasted with her doubts. Her eyes went up slowly from her legs to her face, and she stayed still; looking at her reflection in the mirror of the bedroom.

Her features were soft, completely identical to the ones she had always observed. The years might have engraved a certain print but it had passed unnoticed; logic winning over the rest in a peaceful harmony. Very slowly her fingers came to touch her lips, sliding along her face as if she were about to get a change and she wanted to keep herself in mind; just in case. She frowned and plunged her gaze into her hazel eyes looking for something she would have been unable to name; a slight difference perhaps, an ounce of responsibility in her expression. She finally sighed, vaguely relieved, worried; she had remained the same.

Following the rules of gravity her hands went down along her neck, reaching the smooth fabric of her bath towel. Without thinking it twice she took it off and let the rest of her body appear; her swollen stomach, the new curves of her breasts, her hips. The baby moved; she shivered, studying the image of her body with attention and distance; vaguely afraid of it.

"Are you stripping?"

Karen turned her face and looked at Will; leaned against the doorframe. She shrugged before getting back her attention on her reflection as the attorney made his way inside, settling behind her; locking his eyes with hers.

"I can't recognize me, Will. I guess I lost something; a part of me. I don't know who I am or where exactly. I don't feel fine… I'm not sexy. I'm not who I used to be."

Taken aback by the sudden confession the attorney looked down; his gaze crossing Karen's pale skin. Passing his arms around her waist he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her shoulder before murmuring to her ear.

"You look different but I love it. I love what it means."

"I'm not a woman anymore but a mother. I don't want to lose this part of my identity though. I need to be both to feel that I exist."

His kisses went up slowly to her neck, his tongue playing with her skin; sucking it slowly as his hands passed on her stomach and she put her palms over his.

"You will find it back once you give birth. A pregnancy is just an intermediate stage."

She leaned her head backwards and swallowed hard under his lips; giving more access to his ministrations on her.

"What if it never comes back?"

His hand slid down from the curves of her stomach to her inner thighs before coming to rest between her legs. She frowned then closed her eyes; moaning under the sudden heat of Will's skin against hers.

"Then we will work on it; over and over."

A bright smile played on her lips; her back arched as his fingers started moving.

"That sounds quite tempting, honey."

She used to love dominating; now she was with Will she preferred let him do, guide her through their caresses. It was all about opposites with the attorney; as if her whole life had taken another path while settling down a new story with him and she loved it a lot as a matter of fact. She really loved it.


	13. Happy Thanksgiving

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

Grace entered the flat and a wonderful smell of turkey went straight to her head; developing her already well-trained appetite. Kissing Will's cheek and rubbing his back while focalizing on the pumpkin pie the attorney was preparing, she sighed; enjoying this sweet and rare moment of quietness between the two of them. Life seemed to have speeded up a little lately and they hadn't had a lot of time to spend together; just them, Will and Grace. He kissed his friend's hand, which made her smile brightly.

"I missed you, Gracie."

Jack finally rushed in, a bottle in hands; breaking the peaceful magic as a whole whirl of words and excited comments stormed out of his mouth, joining his eloquent gestures in a studied drama motion. The actor turned towards the interior designer and pouted.

"Why did you not wait for me on 89th street? I was speaking to this guy and a second later I found myself alone. I thought you had been abducted by The Salvation Army!"

"You were flirting with this guy. I had absolutely no reason to stay there with you and witness the scene."

She looked at Will.

"Where is Karen?"

"She's upstairs; having a shower."

The bright sun was passing through the French windows of the bedroom, sliding along the hardwood floor warmly; reaching the corridor and getting reflected on the walls. Grace winced, vaguely blinded by it as she left the stairs behind and made her way to the bathroom; knocking on the door before coming in.

"Are you there, Karen?"

The red-haired woman poked her head inside; frowning under the steam of the water and the evident absence of her friend.

"I'm here!"

A hand suddenly appeared behind the teak folding screen that separated the tub corner from the rest of the room.

"What are you doing here, Gracie?"

"Will doesn't want me in the kitchen."

The millionaire giggled and finally stepped out of behind the wooden mobile wall, wrapped up in a bath towel.

"How come you think he doesn't want you to be there?"

"He said 'I don't want you to be in the kitchen, Grace'. That seems pretty clear."

The interior designer sat down on the toilets, pouting at Karen; her chin against the palm of her hand. Both women stayed silent for a couple of minutes; Grace observing the dark-haired woman going on in the routine of her post-shower activities but she couldn't help smiling as Karen made her lipstick fall down twice in the washbowl. Her hands were shaking and she was constantly dancing on her feet, swearing quietly under her awkward gestures. It looked like the nervousness of important dates had taken possession of the millionaire.

"Karen… Calm down. It's going to be alright. Don't be worried."

Her hazel eyes looked aside at Grace, not at all convinced by her words. She stepped out of the bathroom and came back wearing a black, ankle-length dress. Passing a hand over her stomach she made a face at her friend and shrugged, almost as a form of apologies.

"It weighs a lot. It's not very comfortable. The skin is too tensed. Could you help me with the scarf, please?"

Grace stood up and grabbed the large purple item, wrapping up Karen's stomach in it. Both women had become semi-professionals in the art of tying pregnancy scarves within a second. At the beginning the millionaire saw them more as lovely accessorizes but with time passing by she had realized how she actually needed to wear one.

Their fingers brushed each other's, causing subtle giggles lit up by their gazes crossing in the mirror in front of them and as they finally settled down properly the scarf, Grace's hands went up along her friend's back; coming to rest on her shoulders. She smiled at Karen's reflection, warmly; but the millionaire rolled her eyes, sighing heavily.

"Why am I always so nervous when they're coming?"

"You're a perfectionist, Kare."

They knocked on the door as the millionaire's lips were brushing Will's in the kitchen; looking for comfort and reassurance in the attorney's embrace. Jack stood up reluctantly, expecting any kind of demise as soon as he would face Marilyn. Adjusting her clothes, Karen broke apart and took a deep breath. With some chance they wouldn't stay that long.

"Happy Thanksgiving, George. Marilyn…"

She always said she hated walking but she actually loved the sound of the leaves under her feet; this kind of singular crackling, a rainbow of red and brown that released a smell of purity. They passed the gates and took one of the paths of Central Park; the invigorating air of the fall invading their lungs with strength and life as the blue sky of the day was caressing their cheeks softly. Smiling politely at Marilyn, Karen took Will's hand and pressed it tightly; her thumb brushing the softness of his skin.

As the attorney's mother's gaze became insistent and intimidating she looked down and kept on walking silently next to Grace and Jack; George a few steps away, on the phone for "a business emergency". The awkwardness of the first minutes had been substituted by a wave of politeness; a bit forced at the beginning but now they had finished the meal and were taking advantage of the sunny weather it seemed that the tension was slowly fading away. Will passed his arm around the millionaire's shoulders and kissed her temple before turning back his attention to his mother; answering her peculiar questions.

For some mysterious reason Karen found herself alone with Marilyn as they all reached The Pond; Grace, Will, Jack and George having stopped by some spot in the background. A heavy silence imposed itself very quickly and while running her fingers along the trunk of some tree, the dark-haired woman began to wonder if she would not change her point of view about how romantic walks could be in this green area of the city. A quick glance at the future grandmother didn't reassure her that much though it was clear that Marilyn didn't feel comfortable either; looking blankly at her feet, her arms crossed against her chest.

"Central Park is a nice place."

Karen nodded, doing her best to say something back and so to keep alive the extremely forced conversation.

"It is. I love coming here; especially during the fall. The colors are beautiful."

"It's extremely romantic, isn't it?"

Swearing against herself for blushing so easily, the dark-haired woman smiled before nodding again; ignoring the red on her cheeks. She was about to reply when Will's mother stopped her.

"Are you scared, Karen?"

For a couple of seconds the millionaire stayed still; unsure of the meaning of such question. Her hesitation didn't pass unnoticed and made Marilyn laugh. The blonde pointed at Karen's stomach.

"I'm speaking about the baby. Of course you're afraid of me; I'm your mother-in-law somehow. Nobody likes that. You have no idea how I could hate George's mother... Karen... I know I don't live in New York but I'm not very far either so if one day you feel like speaking or asking me some questions about your pregnancy… Don't hesitate. I'm here. I know the relation you have with your own mother is pretty chaotic and Grace is nice but she never experienced maternity… Is everything alright with the baby?"

The millionaire's hazel eyes narrowed and she leaned her head on aside; nodding.

"Thank you very much, Marilyn. It means a lot to me. Yes, everything is okay. The medical check-ups are perfect, we are both in good health…"

"Your stomach looks tensed."

Marilyn put her hands on Karen's curves unexpectedly; causing a slight jump of surprise from the millionaire who confessed her sensations timidly.

"It is. I know it's normal but it hurts a little. Well, it's tiring; especially since she moves a lot."

"Try to slow down a bit in your day-to-day life. Have long baths, try massages. Have a rest, it's important and extremely relaxing while being pregnant.

The rest of the group finally made their way to both women and Karen smiled brightly at Will; a veil of relief and happiness spreading over her heart. It didn't last that long though and even froze as Marilyn kissed the attorney's cheek and looked at the couple with a mischievous grin.

"Your cousin Laura is getting married, Will. We're all waiting for yours, now."


	14. Of Men and women

**_And if I should paint a picture too_**

**_That showed the loveliness of you_**

She hummed along Ella Fitzgerald's song, vaguely dancing on her feet; moving her hips as her manicured nails caressed the soft cotton dresses and tops, folding them meticulously on the chest of drawers. They had chosen a whole rainbow of red and blue; some pale green and shades of purple. A look at the pile of clothes next to her and she smiled, realizing there was nothing white or pink. She had never liked clichés and would certainly not impose them to her daughter through an impressive and ridiculous collection of pink kimonos. A knock on the door put an end to her fashion daydreams and Karen turned around; looking at Will who was standing on the doorframe. Seeing how the attorney was twisting his hands nervously, the millionaire couldn't help but sighed and rolled her eyes, guessing the reason of his nervousness even before him beginning to speak.

"Oh honey, do you really have to go?"

He frowned and pouted, apologizing silently before answering.

"There's a sort of emergency meeting at the office. It won't take me more than two hours. I'm sorry, Kare… Could you look after Samy in the meantime?"

She could have thrown a fit, screaming and yelling that the little boy wasn't her son but his and so the attorney couldn't ruin the afternoon they both used to spend together because of the office. She would have probably reacted that way; before. She simply smiled though and nodded quietly. It was different with Will and would always be.

A quick glance at Samy sat on the sofa next to her and the dark-haired woman kept on leafing through a catalogue of furniture; looking for a lamp for the baby's bedroom.

"Are you a man, Karen?"

The unexpected and weird question made the millionaire giggled then frowned; looking in disbelief at Will's son.

"Why are you asking me that? Do I look like a man?"

"No, you don't. Besides you're going to have a baby and I guess men can't do that, can they?"

Karen shook her head, still a bit confused by the child's remarks.

"But you also sleep in the same bed as Will and you do "the thing" with him. Mom told me that Will did that with men."

For a couple of seconds the millionaire looked blankly at Samy; trying to connect everything in her brain without bursting out laughing, vaguely embarrassed though. Before the slight worries of the boy, she finally shrugged; passing her tongue over her lips, looking for the right words.

"Your mother told you a lot as I can see… She's right as a matter of fact, somehow. But Will does… Will does "the thing" with men and women. That's why I'm expecting a baby and…"

"That's why you're not a man. But why does he not choose?"

"He doesn't want to because he likes both."

Samy looked aside dreamingly for a while before nodding and coming back to his toys; apparently satisfied. A soft but troubling silence wrapped both of them slowly until Will's child grabbed Karen's forearm; forcing her to look at him.

"For my part I already chose. I prefer boys. Girls are stupid."

A subtle move on the other side of the bed made her turn and open her eyes, staring at an empty mattress still carrying on though the heat of some body. The sun was piercing through the clouds with difficulty that morning and the gray sky seemed ready to announce that it would be snowing very soon. Settling further under the blanket, Karen filled her lungs with Will's scent, left on his pillowcase. She wouldn't have been able to describe it properly but its uniqueness was the perfect dose of sweetness and love that she was looking for desperately. She yawned, turning on her back; a hand under her head as the other one was resting on her stomach. Her gaze got lost in the contemplation of an invisible pattern printed on the ceiling but the minutes passed by and she finally broke apart.

"Where are you, honey?"

Some noise resounded from the stairs and the attorney finally appeared with French toasts, butter and two mugs of tea. A half-asleep smile lit up the millionaire's face as she sat up and made room for him in bed.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

Focalizing on the breakfast, Karen nodded; passing a hand through her messed hair.

"Yeah… I just don't like when you're not next to me. I want you to be my first image of the morning. But the attention is cute though; thank you, honey."

She leaned up and kissed his lips softly before biting into some toasts; completely unaware of the amused look the attorney was giving her after such sweet, romantic and natural remark from her. Karen wasn't girlie but feminine and sexy. A month earlier she would have never come up with a comment that required such degree of intimacy in her feelings and now she was confessing them without even noticing it.

"I will come back around 6pm. In the meantime don't forget that my mom has to stop by here before lunch."

The smooth toast became hard and too thick all of a sudden under the mention of Marilyn and the millionaire looked aside; swallowing back the urge to make a face but Will nonetheless noticed it.

"Karen, could you make an effort for once? She just wants to spend some time with you. She's so happy for the baby and… Somehow you are the daughter she always dreamed to have. I know she can be a pain in the ass but she's being nice with you so I would appreciate if you returned the favor… For a couple of hours."

Abandoning the toast in the plate, the dark-haired woman looked aside without saying a word; shyness getting mixed with embarrassment and sadness for making Will feel that way about herself. Rubbing her arm, Karen's voice made finally its way out in a murmur of awkwardness.

"I know she's nice with me. I don't hate her, you know…"

"Then where is the problem, Kare?"

Her hazel eyes looked down at the blanket; observing in silence the way it was rustling, thinking about nothing but the walk through Central Park for Thanksgiving. Everything had gone to perfection and if it hadn't been for Grace changing subtly the way of the conversation, Karen would have died at the scene under Marilyn's comment about an eventual wedding. To be honest, the millionaire had been in complete panic since the day Jack had found out the catalogue from Tiffany's and as much as she loved Will, she knew she didn't want to marry him. His mother had just added another degree of pressure upon her shoulders; involuntarily. The dark-haired woman shrugged and looked at the attorney; her voice stifled by her fears.

"I just don't want to disappoint her."

The meaning of her sentence was vague; too coward to let him understand. She would have loved to confess him everything but she couldn't get it.


	15. A Tavern on the Green therapy

**_To you because with you I know_**

**_A lifetime could be just one heavenly day_**

The water began to boil, making strange noises against the plastic of the tea kettle as if the item were ready to explode and its burning liquid to spread over the countertop of the kitchen. Staring at it with distrust, Karen moved away, grabbing her magazine at the same time and settled down at the table in front of the fireplace. She definitely found safer to keep her distance with boiling water. While in the middle of some article about cellulite a furtive but firm knock on the door made the millionaire look up; frowning, reluctant, before the idea to stand up and open it. But because life didn't always have to do with dreams, she made her way to it and welcomed an excited Marilyn.

The blonde was wearing an elegant ivory cardigan with blue navy pants and matching purse; a coat that Karen recognized as a Chanel one and a perfect blow-dry, typical from Marilyn's social class. Smiling politely, the millionaire couldn't but appreciate her mother-in-law's tastes. Her clothes not only suited her very well but a certain allure emerged from them; highlighting the grace of her features. Despite George's affairs and the semi-failure of her marriage, she was definitely pretty for her age.

"Would you like to drink something?"

"I wouldn't say no to a martini, thank you."

Delighted by the idea of finding back a shaker and her favorite glass, Karen came back to the kitchen and prepared the drink in silence; feeling Marilyn's gaze on her back, observing her slightest gestures with an expert eye.

"I booked a table at Tavern on the Green; I hope you hadn't planned anything special. We still can cancel…"

Smiling brightly at such invitation, the dark-haired woman shook her head; coming back with the martini in hands and her own mug of herbal tea.

"It's perfect. I haven't gone there for ages. It's a lovely place and the wine list is quite impressive. Well, I won't enjoy it today but I remember they have an excellent Petrus."

After a light conversation Karen excused herself; going upstairs to change her clothes and find something more appropriate for the famous West 67th restaurant. Trying to ignore her frustration for not being able to wear high heels anymore, she finally joined Will's mother a few minutes later in a dark red dress which low-cut not only emphasized her feminine curves but the paleness and perfection of her complexion. She had suffered from it so much as a child that now the millionaire could wisely take advantage of it to get the best from her own person. She had needed decades and decades to accept her fair skin but she had finally made the peace with it in a smart and elegant motion. She simply looked divine.

"So is everything okay with the baby, Karen?"

Passing her fingers along her free-alcohol cocktail, the dark-haired woman did her best not to stare with envy at Marilyn's Tavern-tini and looking up, she nodded politely; frustrated for not having a similar purple drink to sip.

"The last medical exam didn't reveal anything wrong. She's healthy, growing up correctly and even ready to come into this world. I had a lot of contractions lately but it was caused by her movements. She changed her position and settled for the final one. Technically, everything should be alright."

"I'm sure it will. Do you go to Lamaze classes?"

"Not yet but I used to do yoga when I lived in India so I assume the breathing part won't be a problem."

"India? I didn't know that. So you're not thinking about a c-section?"

Karen looked aside and shrugged; then passed her tongue over her lips. She had spoken about it with Will at the very beginning of her pregnancy when the slightest term related to the labor remained in a thick fog of doubts and ignorance. She was afraid of an eventual pain; interminable hours of contractions before being released, exhausted. But time had passed by and her perspectives seemed to have changed a bit for not saying completely.

"I want to take part in this birth. I want to be here to witness it. Of course if I finally need a c-section then I won't refuse it but as long as I can try naturally, I will."

"Are you scared?"

"Probably a little, yes; it's quite intimidating and so… I don't know. I feel like I'm throwing myself into an unknown that I've heard about for so long. It's going to change everything; my whole life. I suppose it's normal if I have some worries and fears about it."

"Sure it is. Do you speak about it with Will? Communication is very important at any stage of a relationship and even more during the first pregnancy."

"Yes, we do. It's a new experience for both of us but… We have known each other for so long that even if things went very quickly since… We got closer, it sounds right."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am. I think I'm going to have the filet mignon. I never miss out any meal, you know."

"I wasn't speaking about this kind of appetite, Karen. The last semester of a pregnancy is extremely hormonal…"

Before Marilyn's mischievous smile the millionaire felt her cheeks burn all of a sudden; getting probably as red as a wall of bricks. Not that sex had ever constituted a taboo for her but speaking about it with her partner's mother was completely unexpected and she felt like she had come back to her teenage years; being embarrassed all the time in front of people's comments and personal questions. A weird sound escaped from her throat as a forced smile played on her lips and she passed a hand on her nape; vaguely sweating. A quick glance on her side and she cursed between her lips the waiters for not choosing this moment to interrupt the conversation. Vaguely wondering if Marilyn was actually offering her a three-way or some dirty thing, Karen finally cleared her voice; playing nervously with her napkin.

"Oh I suppose… I am… Well, hum… I think I am… I am hormonally normal..."

Will passed the door of the flat to find an empty place; a silent one. Frowning, the attorney went upstairs to check in the bathroom and stopping on the doorframe, he smiled at Karen as he saw her relaxing on the tub.

"I'm going to kill you, Will."

Very slowly the dark-haired woman abandoned her blank contemplation of the wall in front of her to give a frosty look at the attorney; the palms of her hands resting sagely but firmly on the edge of the bath and Will shivered all of a sudden as Karen looked a lot like Cleopatra, the dangerous figure of a queen somehow.

"What happened?"

"She asked me about my sexual life with you. I'm afraid this kind of conversation is going to slow down a lot our current, or better said past, sexual activity. The party is over, Will. I'm traumatized, honey."

But the attorney had already taken off his clothes and plunged into the bath; his hands travelling along Karen's body as he was kissing her ear. Pushing away a strand of hair from her face, he locked his eyes with hers and smiled playfully.

"You may need a behavioral therapy…"

The millionaire looked aside and pouted; pretending to weigh Will's words. His hand disappeared in the water and she couldn't help but hold her breath as the attorney's caresses reached her inner thighs. Abandoning herself to him, she leaned her head backwards and moaned.

"Where do I sign for it?"


	16. 51st floor

**_That book would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

"Karen, we're going to be late!"

The millionaire mumbled between her teeth but ignoring Will's comment she nonetheless came back to her laptop screen; biting her lower lip under the high demand of concentration that the situation required. Typing with delicacy on the keyboard the words seemed to come and connect each other in a peaceful fluidity of sounds and meanings; as if reality were imposing itself through Karen's point of view. She hated distance for reminding her of this peculiar childhood that had taken her away from an unknown place to another; a constant lack of references and the fears of some instability rocking her icy nights, heavy insomnias. And even though the wave of new technologies had changed her day-to-day life, she was badly missing Olivia. _A screen will never replace the warmness of a smile._

The attorney entered the bedroom, ready to fight but he finally smiled and squatted down; kissing Karen's shoulder, his hand resting on her stomach. Knowing how the dark-haired woman gave importance to her relation with Stan's daughter, he couldn't but stay quiet and respect the few moments they spent together online.

"I know we're going to be late. Give me five seconds, please."

"Take your time. Anyway I don't give a…"

"She's still your cousin, honey; and it's her wedding. We can't rush in the church…"

"It's Saint Patrick's."

"Gosh, well even less so… We can't rush in Saint Patrick's and perturb the whole ceremony just because I was sending a mail. Okay, it would be quite funny to see your mother's reaction then but still."

"How is she?"

Will motioned the screen and settled on the bed; passing his legs over Karen's.

"She's wondering why men can be so stupid… And why we can hardly live without them."

She twirled around and laughed, leaning her head backwards; trapped in the attorney's embrace, feeling the heat of his chest against her own body and she closed her eyes as they kept on dancing. It was a nice wedding; elegant and refined. The bridal didn't stop smiling, looking like an angel in her white satin dress and Karen managed to perfection to stay away from Marilyn. She still had some problems to deal with their last face-to-face way too personal for the millionaire's taste. Burying her face in Will's neck and filling her lungs with his scent, a bright smile played on her lips for feeling so fine and relaxed; at the right place in his arms. His hands went down to her lower back slowly, sliding with sensuality along her spine while rocked by the music his sweet movements made her sigh and moan quietly.

"Don't stop that, honey."

His fingers were caressing her skin now over her dark green satin dress and Karen had started forgetting about the rest, the guests and the band, when a well-known voice pierced the air and broke the magic within a second; the dark-haired woman's bold fantasies vanishing through an icy shower of reality.

"A reception at The Four Seasons is a must for a wedding; so romantic… Isn't it, Karen?"

She smiled forcefully at Will's mother and passed her tongue over her lips; obviously looking for an appropriate reply.

"It's a must for any kind of celebration; a birthday, an anniversary, a graduation…"

"And a wedding."

Feeling the urge to hit the blonde's too perfect features for those redundant insinuations, the millionaire intertwined her fingers with Will's and pressed his hand a bit too tightly; putting her frustration into her fake innocent gesture.

"How is my granddaughter?"

"She's fine but I guess I need to sit down for a while. My back starts arching."

Congratulating her own self-control, Karen looked at Marilyn going away through the crowd of guests; savoring her semi-victory with a silent pleasure sparkling in her hazel eyes.

"You're tired? We can come back home if you want to."

Still observing the blonde's comings and goings, she shook her head and made her way to the hall. The large room was silent and relaxing in comparison with the ballroom and for a second the dark-haired woman shivered; impressed by the immensity of such empty place, feeling cold and a bit lonely in spite of Will's presence next to her. She turned around to face him; then bit her lower lip as a mysterious smile lit up her features.

"I'd like to show you something. It's on the 51st floor."

The numbers speeded past as the elevators were going up quickly; a weird silence of mystery and expectations wrapping up the couple in a warm motion of share and love. The doors finally opened and the attorney let Karen guide him through the corridors; her expert and self-confident steps showing how she was far from being a novice inside the New York palace.

"Close your eyes, Will. Don't open them before I tell you to, okay?"

He nodded and made some steps forwards; attentive to the slightest sound around him but the carpeted floor and the thick walls almost made it impossible to guess anything. A door got slammed in his back and very soon the coldness of the air sent furtive shivers to his spine as the vague murmur of the cars somewhere below made its way to his ears; they were probably in some terrace now. Settling behind him, Karen's hands wrapped his waist and she leaned her face on his shoulders. The baby kicked against his back; he smiled.

"Now you can watch, honey."

The millionaire had whispered the words against his cheek; her breath getting mixed with an intimated tone similar to the most respectful ones, like when you step in a church or some quiet and important place. He couldn't help but gasp, looking in front of him; speechless. Millions of little lights were glimmering through the darkness of the night like a ribbon of diamonds incrusted in a dark skin; spreading its patterns all over Central Park and the city skyline of The Upper East Side.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Her hazel eyes were running from a side to another, amazed by the breathtaking view; her pupils sparkling of delight before the unique and spectacular presidential suite sight.

"I never get tired of it. I must have come here at least twenty times but it's always the same. I didn't forget anything though I'm taken by surprise; every single time. I wanted you to see it too. I needed to share it with you…"

Still unable to speak, Will passed his hands over the millionaire's; caressing her skin tenderly as a motion of thankfulness. A bitter feeling suddenly embraced Karen's heart and she couldn't help but frown; vaguely melancholic.

"It's the only thing I really miss from the Penthouse."

Will turned around, passing his hands around the dark-haired woman's waist before capturing her lips in a sweet and sincere kiss; long and sensual. They broke apart but locking her eyes with his brown ones, Karen grabbed his hand and led him inside; seduction flirting with her smile as they made their way through the suite. Anticipating with delight their imminent intertwined bodies and the sweetness of their caresses, her heart speeded up its pace as her knees brushed the imposing mattress and she frowned, looking at the attorney in disbelief as if she were realizing for the first time their current degree of intimacy.

"I love you, Will."


	17. What if?

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

The snow had substituted the sun for quite a while now; covering the streets of a white layer of silence, gray clouds lighting up the buildings, stifling the daily sounds of the city. Looking briefly at the snowflakes falling over the terrace, Will stepped out of the bedroom and headed to the end of the corridor; led by an old tune playing on the radio somewhere behind the door. Time was passing by slowly and they were now about to celebrate their first anniversary; a year from London and its peculiar stay, the rain over Notting Hill and the luxury of The Ritz; Karen's smile in the morning. He knocked on the door and poked his head inside before moving forward; contemplating the figure of the millionaire's back. She turned around, her fingers sliding dreamingly along the edge of the crib; her gaze lost in some sweet fantasies.

"I'm just trying to picture it out. It's weird but I love it."

A shy smile played on her lips and she shrugged, looking down; her hand rubbing her arm with a timid nervousness. Then all of a sudden she locked her hazel eyes with his brown ones, letting the attorney reach her own feelings; the warmness of her joy. She looked simple and relaxed; so far from the image she used to give in public. She was just being herself with all the intimacy it could mean and her features seemed lighter then; in harmony with the rest of her persona.

"I love you, Karen."

The brightness of her smile substituted her previous shyness as Will took her hand; confessing his sentiments for her. Giggling under a strange sensation of unexpected comment, the attorney frowned and shook his head.

"I just love you… I mean… I love when you dare to show your feelings; when you're not afraid of their meanings. You look so different, then. You're beautiful when you do. I love you so much, Karen."

_I would have never thought it could happen between the both of us. _She passed her hands around his neck, plunging her eyes in his as the heat of his breath was caressing her lips in a tender motion. Playing with his hair she molded her body against his, vaguely shivering under his touch on her lower back; then whispered in the premises of their kiss.

"I love you too, Will."

She tensed her ankle by moving her tiptoes, laid up on one of the sofas of the living room; leafing through some magazine. Her posture reminded of the most elegant and powerful queens who used to dominate the world from their unreachable seats with a single but effective look that could kill you at the scene. Jack leaned over her stomach, his fingers dancing on it playfully as he sighed before keeping on telling his last adventures.

"He's totally… Himself."

Grace pointed at the actor from the kitchen where she was speaking with Will as the attorney was putting a final touch to the dinner. Turning around he smiled before the scene: a very pregnant Karen ignoring completely the dramatic gesticulations of her friend obviously talking to the baby. Lowering her voice, the interior designer passed her tongue over her lips and looked aside at Will.

"Are you thinking about wedding? I know your mother does."

Raising his eyebrows, he kept on staring at Karen; his fingers playing nervously with the back of a spoon.

"I don't know. I'm not sure. Should I?"

Grace pouted; then shook her head.

"She's not ready for it yet. She loves you and chose you as the father of her child but I'm afraid her past still weighs a lot."

"Her heart has been broken a lot of times, you know. She may not show it but still. She went through hard patches."

Rubbing Will's back, the interior designer leaned her head against his shoulder and kissed his cheek softly.

"You're taking care of her as nobody ever did."

"Honey I'm hungry! Is everything ready?"

Will, Jack and Grace jumped; surprised by the unexpected shriek coming out from behind the fashion magazine. Pushing the actor's hand away from her stomach, the millionaire yawned; then made a face, moving uncomfortably on the couch.

"Jackie honey, I'm afraid she doesn't like your stories. She doesn't stop moving and now she's pressing on my bladder; taking her revenge over your big tales, fairy! So please, just stop, okay? Help me to stand up on my feet. I have to go to the bathroom."

The dark-haired woman made finally her way out of the living room under the silent and astonished gazes of her friends. Sometimes it looked like maternity didn't rhyme at all with sweetness for Karen.

His brown eyes locked with hers furtively and for a couple of seconds they stayed still; silent while sat up on the bed. Swallowing back her tears for being so ridiculous and pointless at this exact moment of the evening, Karen shrugged; smiling weakly.

"I hate Marrakech…"

Will sighed and took the millionaire in his arms for a reassuring hug; rubbing her back, kissing her hair tenderly. He loved the scent of it, it was bewitching. He knew he would miss it.

"I hate it too, Kare."

It would only be the matter of a week; a business trip to Morocco for an important client. There was no other choice for the attorney than to be there, the dark-haired woman knew it and didn't protest about it. After all she was far from being a novice when it came to this kind of things but the situation was different this time though. She was due in three weeks and a half and nobody could say she wouldn't go into labor earlier. Grace and Jack would be there but still; the uncertainty of her imminent future didn't match at all with Will's trip.

She shrugged and took off her shirt, throwing it away on an armchair; then laid down on her back, looking blankly at the ceiling. Will caressed her stomach with his fingertips before planting a kiss on it. A leg between hers, leaned on his side on his elbow, the attorney locked his eyes with Karen's then captured her lips in a motion of care and extreme tenderness. They broke apart and she smiled at him as the back of his hand ran along her cheek. But the quietness of her features suddenly turned into a more confusing aspect and the dark-haired woman frowned; her eyes glimmering under a veil of tears.

"I'm scared, Will."

"It's only a week and Grace will stay here with you constantly…"

"I'm speaking about the labor… What if something goes wrong? It's not about the pain but just the rest… What if I die? What if the baby dies? I don't want to die, Will. I want to stay with you and I don't want to lose her."

Bursting into cries, she grabbed the attorney's neck and pushed him against her; holding him tight. She could feel the silk fabric of his tie against her naked stomach; his shirt getting lost over her bra. The baby moved and they suddenly broke apart, looking down instinctively. Will smiled and took Karen's hand in his.

"I'm sure the three of us are here for a long while."


	18. A lunchbox of souvenirs

**_To you because your love is the beacon_**

**_That lights up my way_**

Grace rushed upstairs; a veil of panic covering her heartbeats since she hadn't managed to get her friend over the phone a couple of hours earlier in the morning. Her heels sounded loud against the hardwood floor; contrasting way too much with the oppressing silence of the rooms.

"Karen, are you there?"

The interior designer finally passed the door of the bedroom and sighed, relieved as she saw the millionaire in bed; looking at her with curiosity and a bit of anger.

"Where the hell am I supposed to be? Of course I'm here."

"Why didn't you take my calls?"

The dark-haired woman shrugged, looking aside; her tiptoes playing with her ankle under the heavy blanket.

"I didn't feel like to."

"Damn Karen you're pregnant! You scared me to death. I was already picturing you here, agonizing in the middle of your expensive sheets; bleeding and all."

"A labor isn't a trash movie."

Grace sat down timidly on the edge of the mattress, trying to calm down a little before the millionaire's irresponsible and selfish behavior. Karen looked pale this morning; her eyes vaguely red and she wasn't smiling. Guessing the reason of her sweet despair, the red-haired woman adopted a quiet tone of voice; a reassuring one.

"He will come back very soon…"

The millionaire scoffed, pretending to be offended; then yawned noisily.

"I don't give a flying fuck. I can live without Will, you know. It's not that complicated."

"Then why are you in bed eating cookies while it's almost noon?"

"I feel hungry and terribly lazy; big deal…"

Grace didn't reply, just looked down and smiled in front of her friend's ridiculous defense for hiding her true feelings. Sometimes this kind of behavior simply got on her nerves but it sounded cute that morning and so she didn't insist.

"Then what am I supposed to do? Do I have to stay in bed with you the whole day?"

"Gosh certainly not! I don't know… Entertain yourself. Feel free… For my part, I stay here."

Saying that, Karen settled further under the duvet and picked up a cookie; chewing it slowly. Balancing her legs from right to left, the red-haired woman finally stood up, pacing dreamingly through the room; not knowing what to do.

"Gracie honey, could you give me the Chanel shoebox that is in the closet, please? It's the red one. I would like to check something."

Delighted by the idea of finally getting a task, Grace opened the closet and gave the box to her friend. She was about to close the doors back when she saw a small The Magic Roundabout lunchbox. Intrigued she grabbed it and turned around to face Karen; a smile of curiosity playing on her lips.

"What is that?"

The millionaire didn't have time enough to stop her friend and her gesture stayed suspended in the air before crashing against a pillow; a scream of protestation getting lost between her throat and her lips. Making a face before the interior designer's imminent reaction, she put her face in her hands; shaking her head.

"Oh my God… What is that?"

The red-haired woman's eyes seemed to be growing more and more while seconds were passing by and she was finding out about the contents of the box.

"Karen what is…"

"It's a lunchbox for adults…?"

Grace looked up at her friend with a mock of horror on her face.

"But why are you keeping that while now you're with Will? Isn't it enough for you?"

Feeling the red invading her cheeks, the dark-haired woman raised her eyebrows and passed her tongue over her dry lips.

"Will hasn't been here since the very beginning! Besides he's not always here and… Well, I don't know… Consider it as an X Box; a very special souvenir. Oh come on, don't blame me and don't tell me you never used a vibro!"

"That's not the question young future mother. And what is that… Oh God you took pictures of your lovers and you? What…"

"I certainly did not!"

Grace gasped and couldn't help but smile as she was leafing through a whole series of black and white portraits.

"Is it you?"

Karen nodded, sitting up in bed; adjusting her nightgown over her curves.

"They're beautiful. How old were you? You should buy some frames and hang them on the wall…"

"Why no thanks."

The interior designer came to sit down next to her friend with the photographers in hands; bewitched by captured past scenes coming straight from the millionaire's childhood. Vaguely looking at them, Karen's features seemed to deepen under the reminiscence of those years and all the sensations that the series of pictures were bringing back to her soul.

"I was three on this one; it was in the backyard of our house in London. This one was taken in Canada at the ice-skating academy I used to attend but I had to stop because we moved out."

"How about this one?"

The dark-haired woman who had begun to relax little by little under the sweetness of this shared moment froze all of a sudden and twisted her hands nervously; looking extremely uncomfortable, feeling a bit sick. She was wearing a pair of red short pants and a white t-shirt; her hair put in bunches. A simple gaze at the picture and she remembered how she could love this outfit, the only one she really bear under the strong sun and the ground, always so dry and made of dust caressing her feet abruptly for refusing to put on shoes whenever she was wandering through the acres of the property. She had climbed into this tree a million times; its thick branches supporting her weight in a reassuring motion and the world seemed so small from there; through the leaves. It was her baobab and the little girl she was by then was sat on it, smiling at the camera.

"It was in South Africa."

"You lived in South Africa?"

"Yes I did."

Before the coldness of the millionaire's reply, Grace let it go and passed to another photo.

_I miss you. I miss your hands, your smile. The way you look at me and the color of your eyes; your scent. I wish you could come back to me right now and never leave again. I know it's stupid and selfish but it's the way I feel and I have no hold over it. The sky was pink this morning when I accompanied you to the airport. The streets were quiet and the city half-asleep. For a second, a furtive moment, I thought New York was showing its beauty just for us and I contemplated it in silence; lost in the warmness of your arms. The plane took off and you vanished. It hurt but you know me. I just turned around and came back here; looking for the heat of an invisible body next to mine in the fake sweetness of our bed. It's my best enemy when you're not here. Blue substituted the early colors of the morning sky but now the stars are shining high; quietly, sagely as if they were waiting for your return and celebrate then your presence through a sparkling majestic dance in the darkness of the night and my heart; crying for the palm of your hand on my nape as you lean over and capture my lips in a tender motion. I miss you, Will._

She bit her lower lip and smiled as his voice sounded in the background, on the other end of the line.

"Hi, honey."


	19. Ikea impossibilities

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

She leaned her head on a side and looked at the different items resting on the floor with a slight mock of disgust on her face; unless it was just frustration and despair for not managing to assemble the whole. Growling in annoyance, Karen sighed heavily and hands in the air as a sign of defeat, she went to the kitchen to prepare some tea. What an idea they had had to buy an Ikea changing table for the bathroom downstairs. Leaned against the countertop as the water was brewing, the millionaire was now looking at the furniture reluctantly, almost dreadfully; trying to picture out how it was humanly possible to get the result she had seen at the store in Brooklyn.

"Please, tell me I'm stupid. I have plenty of money and I go to this Swedish thing to make half of the work by myself while I could have it assembled for absolutely nothing."

Grace smiled at Karen, coming back from the first floor of the flat. She turned around and couldn't help but gasp as she saw what looked like a million of different elements littering the living room.

"What is it supposed to be?"

"It's a changing table. We bought it a while ago but never assembled it. I thought I could try to… Obviously I should have waited for Will."

"Since when is Will talented at assembling furniture?"

"Oh he's not. It's extremely funny to see him highly concentrated on it as if his whole life depended on it though."

She poured some tea in a mug and left the room; heading to the stairs quietly then stopped, smiling at the interior designer.

"I'm a bit tired. I'm off for a nap."

Missing out a line, the dark-haired woman swore between her teeth and let escape a shriek as she pricked her finger in a moment of inattention. But she was so focused on her work that she didn't hear Jack going upstairs and jumped, retrieving and hiding her personal items in a rush as the actor came in the baby room where she was staying.

"How are you, Karebear?"

He kissed her nose and she flashed him a bright smile, caressing his cheek sweetly.

"I'm fine, honey."

"What were you doing here? Grace told me you were sleeping but obviously you're not…"

Moving nervously on the rocking chair, the millionaire twisted her hands over the plaid covering her knees; looking for a smart reply that wouldn't stir up any suspicion and hoping Jack wouldn't notice anything.

"I wasn't doing that much; just daydreaming, you know…"

In front of his friend's evident embarrassment and the red on her cheeks, Jack began to giggle; shaking his head.

"What are you hiding from me, woman?"

A sudden ray of sun pierced through the French window and traced a line through the room; making the metallic end of the needle shine brightly. The actor's eyes connected with it immediately and in a furtive motion he grabbed it from Karen's lap; the blanket falling on the hardwood floor in silence.

For a couple of seconds he stayed quiet and observed in disbelief the dark red woolen work he was holding; it wasn't finished yet but it had the shapes of a cute cardigan, a very small one. Looking at Karen with an amused smile playing on his lips, he raised his eyebrows.

"Are you knitting?"

The dark-haired woman pouted and crossed her arms against her chest, obviously irritated by the actor's discover but as nothing interesting was happening in the direction she was staring at, she finally shrugged and grabbed the cardigan.

"Well it's for the baby… I thought I could try and it results easier than to assemble an Ikea changing table, you know!"

Melting in front of this unexpected motion of sweetness, Jack sat down on the floor and caressed Karen's stomach before planting a kiss on it.

"You have the best mom in the world, little unnamed girl. She's stubborn but simply awesome. After all it will balance with the disaster your dad represents…"

The millionaire didn't say a word, simply rolled her eyes and let him speak to the baby; telling how it was to live in New York City but all of a sudden he locked his blue eyes with her hazel ones and seriousness wrapped up his features.

"When did you fall in love with Will? It was before London, wasn't it?"

Taken aback by the unexpected question, Karen stayed still; halfway between looking for the right reply and the surprise for never having thought about it. Images speeded up in her mind, dancing in front of her eyes in a fuzzy whirl of uncertainty; feelings getting mixed with gestures and she finally cleared her voice, looking down blankly.

"I don't know when I did; it probably came out little by little though I realized and understood on a Wednesday afternoon as we were at his parents' place for Thanksgiving. Three years ago for some reason we happened to find ourselves alone in the library of the house. We had finished the meal and… I don't know where you were; nor Grace. I had problems with Stanley; things weren't going well and Will knew about it. He took me in his arms and kissed me. And within a second I wished I could have spent the rest of my life with him."

"Does he know about it? Why didn't you tell him by then?"

"Well I was married and he wasn't supposed to be interested in women… And I couldn't do that to Grace. I'm a sweet bitch, you know. I care about my friends. I don't want to upset them for ridiculous whims."

"But it wasn't ridiculous if we look at your situation nowadays."

"I would have never imagined either that it would turn that way…"

She opened her eyes quickly; breathing loud as sweat was running on her forehead, sliding along her temples. As she was slowly making her way back to reality, she swallowed hard; her fists still clenched on the blanket. She didn't move and observed the room plunged in the darkness of the night; concentrating on her feelings, the way her legs were laid; her back in full contact with the mattress. She turned on her side to gauge the alarm-clock and was already sweeping away the bad taste of the nightmare when a virulent pain made her gasp in silence; the sound of her voice getting lost in her throat, stolen by the wave of strength running along her spine and settling on her lower back. She started shaking uncontrollably in the dark, tears welling up in her eyes as a veil of panic was taking possession of her mind; a sentiment of loneliness, she felt so weak.

"Grace…"

The interior designer mumbled incomprehensible words and opened her eyes with difficulty; looking at a form standing on the doorframe of her bedroom. The voice had sounded low; scared and disarmed. She turned the light on and sat up, staring at Karen crying silently. For a couple of seconds the interior designer stayed still and couldn't help but think how her friend looked tiny and fragile; like a child afraid of the thunders on a summer night, so pale and lost.

"What's happening, Kare?"

The dark-haired woman shook her head; her eyes fixing the hardwood floor.

"I don't know… There's something wrong with the baby."

She bent over all of a sudden, abandoning the doorframe as her hands grabbed her stomach and she kneeled down under a new wave of pain. Stifling a scream she made contact with the floor and Grace stood up quickly.

"Oh shit!"


	20. The magic of Elmo's World

**_If I should write a book for you_**

**_That brought me fame and fortune too_**

One. Two. Three. Paramedics rushed in forming a white wave of screams and furtive movements lost in a shade of blood until they disappeared in some room. She leaned against the wall and looked at them blankly; wondering how people could dedicate their lives to a series of disasters where death wandered around quietly. The sound of his voice on the other end of the line made her jump though she couldn't help swearing as she realized it was the answering machine. Passing a hand through her hair, she closed her eyes and waited for the beep; not knowing what to say.

"It's Grace, Will… It's four in the morning and… Well, we are in the hospital right now. Don't freak out; don't be worried. Karen woke up in the middle of the night because she was in pain… I mean she had contractions or something so we came here immediately and… I don't know; perhaps I should have waited for the results before calling you. She's having a check-up now… She's okay though. I mean I guess so… Please call me back, Will… I don't really know what to do and… And…"

Feeling the tears and a wave of panic spreading over her heart, the interior designer took a deep breath and swallowed hard before putting an end to the call; observing, disarmed, the routine of the ER.

She was short and had a mole at the corner of an eye; accentuating the sweetness of her features and no matter what she could say, you felt fine, bewitched by the person she was. She arrived smiling and Grace allowed herself to breathe again but with an ounce of reserve though; waiting for the scientist's explanation.

"Are you Grace Adler? I'm doctor Elizabeth Bishop; I'm in charge of Karen Walker's file."

The red-haired woman nodded; her icy hands twisting nervously over the fabric of her coat she hadn't even taken off yet in spite of the central heating.

"Your friend is having a rest. We put her in a single room."

"Is she about to give birth? The father is overseas, I'm afraid he won't be here until tomorrow or so. I don't know… I let him a message on his phone."

"Oh no, she's not into labor yet! She indeed, had contractions, but it was a wrong alert. It looks like she has been stressed a bit too much lately and so her body reacted pretty violently to it. She's almost nine-month pregnant now; she's more sensitive to our day-to-day high speed routine. That's all. Everything's fine… We put the baby under monitoring and she's waiting for you. She'll be released tomorrow morning; perhaps around noon, just in case you know."

She heard a soft sound in her back and she turned around in the tiny bed of the room; looking at Grace in silence. For a couple for seconds the millionaire stayed still, unsure of what she should do but very soon a bright smile played on her lips and she tended her arms towards her friend for a hug.

"Thank you, honey… Thank you for being here."

The tiny voices of the puppets of Sesame Street were enveloping warmly the background of the resting flat; the sun passing through the windows and coming to caress the furniture. Grace looked at Karen from the table of the living room and smiled before coming back to her work. The dark-haired woman had finally fallen asleep on one of the sofas; a blanket covering her body as her face was still turned towards the screen of the television where Elmo's World was in full swing. She looked relieved and her features had got back the whole grace of their nature while succumbing to her dreams.

The touch sounded soft but way too real to belong to her fuzzy fantasies and the dark-haired woman woke up slowly but keeping her eyes closed nonetheless; just in case it had nothing to do with reality and so she would have broken the magic. But suddenly she felt a hand run on her cheek and a warm murmur against her ear. An explosion of joy irradiated her heart as she locked her eyes with Will's; shaking her head in disbelief before his unexpected presence next to her. Frowning under a sweet confusion, Karen simply burst into tears; her face a few inches away from the attorney's who had squatted down and leaned on his elbows to face her glimmering eyes.

"So you were ready to do anything possible so that I may come back earlier?"

Smirking, the millionaire shrugged and looked at him playfully.

"And I always succeed, honey."

She passed her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply; smiling in his mouth, abdicating at last under the warmness of her emotions and her joy, for feeling him back against her own body. Breaking apart, Will sat down on the ground and pointed at the room all around.

"Now perhaps you could tell me the reason of all this mess."

"It's Grace's sketches…"

"Hey!"

Karen sat up and turned her face to wince at the interior designer who was eating cookies in the kitchen; Jack next to her, sipping a smoothie.

"Yeah I'm not speaking about the table behind you, Karen, but all these things littered on the floor near the fireplace."

Biting her lower lip, the dark-haired woman shrugged to apologize; looking up at the ceiling before pushing away the blanket from her lap and let her feet run on Will's legs seductively.

"It's the changing table. You know, the one we bought at Ikea the other day. Apparently I need you to assemble it…"

The attorney stood up and sighed playfully before the fake angelical face the millionaire had just adopted to seduce him. He grabbed the travel bag he had dropped out a few minutes earlier; before hugging his friends and waking her up.

"Let me have a shower first. Then we'll see what we can do for the future comfort of our daughter."


	21. George Balanchine

**_If I should find a twinkling star_**

**_One half so wondrous as you are_**

She grabbed the mug of tea Will was tending to her and smiled at him; half-asleep while sitting down at the table. Her hair was a mess and the depth of her features clearly let understand she needed more hours of sleep but the light of the morning reflected in her eyes and the paleness of her skin gave a bewitching shade to the grace of her gestures. Settling further against the back of the chair, she passed her knees underneath the attorney's old blue gray woolen sweater she had put on before going downstairs to have breakfast; her feet up on the seat.

"I didn't know you had a thing for wearing men clothes."

His brown eyes scanned playfully her body; from the large top to the boxer shorts she had also picked up in his personal wardrobe. The dark-haired woman rolled her eyes while sipping her hot beverage; then restrained a yawn and put down the mug on the table.

"Men underwear can be ugly but they're extremely comfy. Besides those ones have your smell… It's like a constant embrace from you. I love it."

She leaned over and kissed his lips softly before plunging her sparkling eyes in his; her fingers reaching the back of his hand in a tender caress.

"I missed you, honey… I really did."

Karen was about to make the beloved night last a bit longer, lost in the intensity of their intertwined bodies, his careful thrusts, when she recognized the logo on an envelope; put down on the table next to the pile of mails.

"What is it?"

She grabbed it and looked up at the attorney who only shrugged before taking another sip of his coffee.

"It's part of today mail… I went for it before you joined me here, in the kitchen. Why, is there any problem with it?"

Taping nervously her index finger on the white square and looking at it blankly, the millionaire shook her head and was about to drop it out among the factures and magazines she had received when Will's remark made her jump, surprised.

"I didn't know you had some partnership with The School of American Ballet, Kare."

Reading her obvious surprise all over her face, the attorney pointed out at the mail.

"It's the logo of the school. I attended some of their performances. That's why I know about it. I ignored though you were connected to them in some way."

"I'm not."

The coldness of her reply even got her paralyzed and she shook her head to apologize before such behavior.

"I mean… It's just an invitation. George Balanchine was a friend of mine."

Will's eyes widened all of a sudden in front of the news and couldn't help but gasp; astonished.

"Oh God, you happened to know him? Karen you are so lucky. He was pretty damn talented!"

Smiling shyly, she rolled her eyes and shrugged as if this peculiar friendship had absolutely nothing extraordinary but the attorney was in complete excitement now.

"So you have an invitation for the next performance?"

"You would like to attend it? I don't know when it is… I mean it may be right for our first anniversary and…"

"Then that would be even more perfect, wouldn't it? What, you don't like ballet?"

In front of her lack of enthusiasm Will frowned; perplexed and confused. If Balanchine had been a friend of Karen, he could barely understand how she couldn't love dance. Looking down, embarrassed, the dark-haired woman nodded and murmured.

"Of course I do. It's just… Well, it's nothing, honey. I will gladly attend it with you."

She opened the envelop and read the well-known letter that didn't really change through the years.

For some mysterious reasons, Karen had been extremely nervous the whole week but as the date of the birth was approaching too, Will put this odd behavior under the importance of such event and kept on ignoring it; just trying to calm her nerves with sweet attentions. He took her hand in his and realized she was shaking; a veil of ice seemed to have wrapped up her fingers and got them paralyzed. The lobby was full; journalists getting mixed with private guests and relatives of the performers, diamonds sparkling under the powerful lights of The Lincoln Center. Plunged into the reading of the program, the millionaire froze all of a sudden as she heard a voice calling for her in her back.

"Karen Delaney, is it you? I mean, Karen Walker, sorry."

Abandoning the idea to use an undercover as Will was next to her, Karen turned around and smiled politely, hiding to perfection the shock of such confrontation; the weight of the years and the joy to see her back.

The couple came face-to-face with a blond, tall and graceful woman that Will identified immediately as an old alumni; perhaps a teacher now. She bit her lower lip, obviously taken away by the surprise and the emotions then grabbed Karen's hands; holding them tight.

"Oh my God, Karen… I was losing hope to see you again, you know. You haven't changed… Well, apart from this prominent stomach!"

She burst out laughing; her lightness contrasting with the millionaire's sudden timidity.

"When are you due?"

"She should be born in three weeks, now."

"It's a girl? I'm sure she will be as talented as her mom… I would gladly welcome her in my classes!"

Frowning quietly under the incomprehensible remark, Will smiled politely until Karen cleared her voice and finally came back to reality.

"Oh… This is Will, my… Well, the father of my child. Will, this is Kay Mazzo; an old friend of mine and technically the co-chairman of the School."

"Nice to meet you, Will… Oh Karen I'm sure you're going to love tonight performance and it may even bring you back some old memories… A Midsummer Night Dream will never be the same without you…"

Kay turned towards Will, flashing him a bright smile.

"Whenever she was onstage, the audience fell right away under her charms and the perfection of her movements. She's the most talented dancer I ever met. Now excuse me but I have to go backstage and give the last advices to my students. Enjoy the performance!"

She disappeared in a whirl of vivacity and grace; exactly the same as she had rushed to them a couple of minutes ago when Karen was still the millionaire with this unbalanced childhood but now something had changed. Staying still and silent, trying to connect it all in his head, Will looked blankly at the dark-woman's black satin dress; how the soft and light fabric was following her curves in an elegant motion of class and refinery. Still astonished but feeling the urge to speak, he locked his brown eyes with her embarrassed hazel ones.

"You used to dance?"

Karen passed her tongue over her dry lips, her hands hanging loosely along her evening dress; not knowing what to say, lost in the brouhaha of the theater and the wave of emotions coming back to her heart under the reminiscence of a blurry past. It was hot and she felt like sitting down; her back arching. She closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and realized how she could miss the adrenaline of opening nights.


	22. The appealing category

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

The doors of the theater opened at this exact moment and instinctively Will led Karen inside so that she may sit down and rest a little; putting aside briefly the explanation of her ballet past experience. Looking quietly at the curtains, the dark-haired woman felt a wave of guilt mixed with an old sentiment of failure spread over her heart. How come we can hate ourselves that much?

"Have you ever noticed the scar on my ankle?"

The room was getting filled slowly through a brouhaha of exclamations and sparkling jewels; diamonds lighting up refined skins and the smell of luxury going on all around. Her voice had been low, almost imperceptible as if she had been afraid of stirring up too many emotions she would have preferred to forget but he nonetheless had heard her and so he turned his face to plunge a confused brown gaze into her hazel eyes.

"Of course I have. I thought it was just the print left by a bold child's adventure that had ended up at the ER."

"Unfortunately it's not, honey. It's the sequel to an open fracture I got when I was 15. I was preparing, with Kay you just met, the auditions for the leading role in a Midsummer Night Dream. I got it and she was my understudy but I fell down the stairs and couldn't make it. I just gave up then."

"You could have started dancing again after, why did you do that?"

"I let my chance go away, that's all. I was way too disappointed and upset to come back onstage and then I left home because of this big fight you already know about."

"Perhaps you could teach, now if you really miss it."

Karen restrained a laugh and frowned, vaguely smiling at the attorney.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, Will. But I love it. Thank you, honey"

She leaned over and kissed his lips softly as the lights went down and the performance began; her hand intertwined with his under the reflections sent by the powerful spotlights.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the pace of her heartbeats; pounding heavily against her chest and making her a bit dizzy. The baby moved under the sudden tension of her cardiac rhythm and she moved on her seat; uncomfortable. As much as she would have loved to, Karen couldn't manage to concentrate on her own gestures and even her gaze seemed to get lost within a second in the invisible space between her body and the mirror of the bedroom.

"You're beautiful."

She looked up and smiled at Jack as he came in; observing her dress, the makeup, her hair forming a perfect final touch.

"You're even sexy."

The red invaded her cheeks through a curly strand of hair that fall down in front of her face as she rolled her eyes in a motion of distrust. Apart from her nice cleavage, all the things she could notice were the weight she had put on and a body she didn't recognize that much but for sure that she didn't put in an "appealing category".

"You're a very bad actor, honey. You can't lie properly."

Her fingers ran along the lace of the black dress but her lack of enthusiasm made her friend frown; confused. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to her, looking at both of their reflections in the mirror without smiling; barely breathing. They were just being themselves in the whole splendor of a fade logic and this fear in their eyes for having got older without noticing it in time.

"Why are you scared, Karen?"

A furtive smile of surprise played on her lips before his use of her real first name. It was rare when Jack didn't choose any of her nicknames; odd and serious, a bit too much perhaps.

"What if I lose him tonight?"

"Why would you do?"

Raising her eyebrows, the millionaire looked aside with bitterness and melancholy as if she had already thought about this eventuality more than once.

"It's our first anniversary. I'm about to give birth to our daughter; me, Karen, you know… The popping-pill boozed socialite? I'm getting a new life, a maternal one. Oh God I can barely pronounce it, it's crazy… But still, wouldn't it be logical for Will to propose me tonight? I should have said no to The Four Seasons… It's way too romantic. Oh man, what have I done?"

Moaning desperately, she put her face between her hands; shaking her head in silence.

"You still could suggest a change and head for some one-buck hot-dog at the corner of any street."

"Stop making fun of me, fairy."

Jack passed his fingers through her hair and kissed her temple softly, reassuringly.

"Don't freak out, I'm sure he won't propose you."

Looking up at him in an unexpected fury that made the actor move backwards instinctively, the millionaire clenched her fists in a fit of rage.

"Oh fine so now my boyfriend doesn't want to marry me? What the fuck? Am I not enough good for him?"

Looking aside, disarmed and frightened, hoping for some help, Jack simply shook his head; unable to articulate the slightest sound. An hormonal Karen was definitely hard to follow; way too much complicated.

She smiled shyly at him as she finally made her way downstairs and came to face an obvious nervous Will. Staring at them with curiosity from the fireplace, Grace made a face and leaned over Jack.

"They look like a stupid couple of teenagers going on their first date."

The actor sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Totally!"

As the forced smile on her lips began to sore, the dark-haired woman grabbed the attorney's hand and looked aside; trying a way to escape from her sweet despair.

"Are you ready, honey?"

Her voice seemed to be as weak as her frame. They opened the door and left; a quick last glance from the millionaire at Grace and Jack and Karen looked ready for her demise, a weird way to celebrate her supposed happiness with Will but after all the dark-haired woman never did like everybody.


	23. I'm coming out

**_To you because your love is the beacon_**

**_That lights up my way_**

He looked up and she smiled at him, her fingers playing nervously with the edge of the table as he finally made his choice and closed the menu he was holding. As much as the restaurant was full booked, the room was extremely quiet and friendly. It was a characteristic of The Four Seasons that Karen had always noticed and appreciated. You could barely hear the clicking of glasses or the silverware sliding along a plate; there was just the murmur of the wine poured skillfully and a sparkling laugh from time to time, coming to light up the serenity of the evening. Vaguely leaning over the candles, the millionaire's features seemed to soften all of a sudden; rocked by the warmness of the flame. Something remained though; in her eyes. It was a shade of doubts and anxiety that she didn't manage to get rid of properly. She grabbed Will's hand in an attempt to concentrate on him; pushing aside her stressful feelings. Damn her for not being able to enjoy the chance she had been given!

Nothing special happened though once they started eating. It was just a sweet evening; a quiet parenthesis before the craziness of parenthood and the joys of having a family. The awkwardness of the beginning got substituted very quickly by the fluidity of their conversation; the logical appreciation of their hearts for being in love with each other. They talked about their daily routine and some dreams they still had; more or less important ones. They were embracing the future with the freshness of their relationship but very soon the dark-haired woman found herself looking at the past; the damp streets of London and the confusion of her soul. What if she hadn't kissed him under the rain? She still could feel the drops of water run on her skin, along her nape, as she was becoming addicted to the taste of his lips. Looking all around her, then at herself, Karen smiled. She simply would not be making her dreams come true.

She was about to bite into her chocolate velvet dessert when the attorney began to move nervously on his chair; then cleared his voice.

"You know I love you, Karen…"

Her heart froze as she looked up at him and thought that, yes, they had finally came to the fatal moment when Will would propose her and she would ruin everything while turning him down because she just couldn't. She managed a smile and frowned, nonetheless touched by his words.

"I love you too, honey…"

"Things got a way I would have never expected this year and even though I don't regret anything, I can't help but think it's just crazy. I mean it's you… And me."

Karen burst out laughing, leaning her head backwards for a couple of seconds before nodding; raising her eyebrows.

"I know. I feel the same. I'm going to have a child with Wilma; that's quite unbelievable. A lot of people say we can choose when it comes to our lives though I'm not sure they're right. I didn't choose to fall in love with you. It just happened; and I don't regret it now, of course I don't. But you're Will and I'm Karen!"

"Exactly! And I come to the conclusion that if things are going so fast between the two of us, it's because you're the right one. Whenever I'm with you I feel light and happy but when you have to go away, even just for a couple of seconds, my heart is painful and… I don't know… I'm just not fine; I'm missing you. Perhaps it's a bit cliché or simply symbolic, take your pick…But as it's our first anniversary, there's something I would like to ask you."

Her panicked hazel eyes followed the attorney's hand as it vanished under the table; obviously looking for something in the pocket of his suit. But all of a sudden her attention got caught up by an unexpected feeling and the millionaire gasped; leaning over the table, looking at the carpeted floor. Will stopped and frowned, confused.

"Have you lost something, Kare?"

Clutched to the table, the dark-haired woman nodded, her head still down; fixed on the ground. The attorney stared in the same direction but didn't notice anything. Swallowing hard, she passed her tongue over her dry lips; not daring to move.

"Yes, I have."

"What is it?"

"My waters."

Very slowly and carefully, her eyes began to move up until she met his; a veil of frank panic spreading over them. And at 9.45pm, on November, 27th, Karen Walker finally let her feelings come out publicly after years and years of abnegation, as she burst into cries in the middle of The Four Seasons; vaguely aware of the thousand faces looking at her in disbelief.

Excited and intrigued by Will's call, Grace and Jack arrived at the hospital around 10.30; looking awkwardly around them, a bit lost in the immense building.

"Are you looking for the artificial insemination laboratory?"

Both friends jumped in surprise as a student nurse smiled at them brightly; waiting for an answer to her unexpected question. As Jack was giggling uncontrollably, the interior designer restrained a sigh of exasperation and shook her head.

"No but we would like to see a friend of us; Karen Walker. She arrived twenty minutes ago or so; she's in labor."

After a quick check at the reception, they finally made their way to the millionaire's room and Grace couldn't help but run to Will as she saw him in the corridor; ending up a call.

"How is she? Don't tell me she already gave birth…"

"Not really, no… Apparently we still have plenty of time left before that. Well, it's a matter of hours."

"Why did you tell us then that we would have a shock while seeing her? You kind of scared me."

Will opened his mouth to speak but stopped before the words reaching his lips; he simply shrugged, vaguely overwhelmed.

"Come on, Will! What the hell is happening? I want to see my Karebear!"

Thinking the nickname that Jack had chosen couldn't be more appropriate for once, the attorney opened the door of the room and let his friends witness the scene. Completely taken aback by the situation, they stayed still; unable to move or speak. A couple of seconds flew away before Grace whispering.

"Holly shit…"


	24. The detail of a few inches

**_To you because with you I know_**

**_A lifetime could be just one heavenly day_**

If you had measured on the Richter scale the current state of Karen, it would have overcome in a troubling and evident way the most impressive natural disasters of the past century. Her heart seemed to have been plunged into boiling waters for long and painful hours; the legendary ice embracing the organ vanishing through a veil of steam. And the millionaire had died, or at least the image most of people had from her; all this extravaganza and the perfect control of her nerves. Grace moved forward, shaking.

"Hi, Karen…"

She was just a pair of red and puffy eyes; her frame moving up and down under her constant sobs and a desperate look on her face. She seemed to be scared to death. Biting her lower lip in silence, her arms made their way slowly from the bed to the air and as Will leaned over, she got back clutched to him as she had been doing since she had started crying at The Four Seasons. She had simply turned, with the first contractions, into a lake of feelings and following her waters, she had also broken; into tears though. For some unexpected reasons her imminent motherhood stirred up a side of her personality that nobody would have thought existing: not even the attorney.

Rubbing her back but still taken aback by her reaction, Will kissed the dark-haired woman's temple before locking his eyes with her hazel ones; his hands cupping sweetly her face.

"I left her a message. She didn't answer…"

Her panicked features widened even more under the statement.

"But… I need her… How am I going to do? She may not even be in New York yet… I… I… I'm not supposed to give birth now, I still have two weeks left and I… And I… And I…"

Will, Jack and Grace were looking at the millionaire in disbelief, nodding subconsciously under her sudden stutter; trying to guess the end of her sentence but the cries simply got back to a higher degree.

"I want my mommy!"

Shaking her head in a motion of despair, she put her face between her hands and kept on weeping. Will turned around and shrugged, disarmed but almost apologizing to his friends for the millionaire's behavior; then murmured in her back.

"She got tranquilizers but apparently they have absolutely no effect on her. She's like that since her waters broke. The nurses say it's okay and normal. The tension and pressure of all these month are being evacuated; on their own way. She needs comfort so don't hesitate; free hug party is on. I called Lois but she's probably still in Honk-Kong. I'm waiting for her call…"

Sighing and passing his hand through his hair, probably pushed to an extreme degree of stress, Will turned on his heels and sat down next to Karen on the bed; not knowing what to say to calm her down and begin to concentrate on the imminent labor.

"I admire you."

The boys had left and the interior designer, sat on some uncomfortable old chair, looked up at Karen; her hands between her knees, intimidated by the situation. The dark-haired woman who was just sobbing now shrugged and raised her eyebrows. Obviously she didn't share the same opinion as her friend.

"You shouldn't, Gracie… I'm scared to death and I can't stop crying like a baby. I could even win over that if I competed with my own almost-born daughter. It's pitiful."

"No, it's not. Who wouldn't? You're about to live the most amazing thing a woman can experience on earth and it's going to change your whole life. It's normal if you're scared; besides it's the first time. I don't know a lot of people who are proud and self-confident when they have to face a first time…"

Karen moved her legs under the light sheets of the bed and made a face as another contraction ran through her body. The red-haired woman stood up immediately and tended her hand so that both women may make contact and try to overcome the pain together; somehow. Pushing a strand of damp hair behind the millionaire's ear, Grace smiled at her sweetly.

"Are you nonetheless happy?"

Karen frowned under the evidence of her burning feelings which caused a new wave of cries to come out unexpectedly; but this time they tasted better. They were sweet.

"Yes I am… And I'm looking forward to holding her in my arms. I just hope everything will be fine; for her and for me."

She looked down and laughed; then shook her head.

"I know it's cheesy."

"Do you want to drink something?"

"I can't. I'm not allowed to; just in case I need an anesthesia. I hate hospitals; they look cold and unfriendly impersonal. Besides this persistent smell is just… It's not reassuring."

She leaned against the pillow and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds, lost in her nightmarish thoughts. _It's what I noticed first when my father died: the smell. The world had stopped turning and I felt like I was trapped in a white cube of ice with detergent to kill the slightest ounce of emotion. And so we didn't have to cry._

"I want you to concentrate on your breathing, Kiki. I swear to God that everything will be alright if you do what I say."

"I miss you, mom… Why the hell are you never next to me when I need you?"

"That's because your daughter completely forgot that I lived on the other side of the planet and I still need almost a whole day to get to you by plane. Don't be worried… I was alone too when I gave birth to you."

"Oh please keep for yourself the "week-end at the farm story". I know it by heart and as you know it was just stupid from you to leave San Francisco while you were due two days before. Honestly, that wasn't responsible at all."

"Excuse me…"

The dark-haired woman looked up from her bed where she was holding tight the phone; her fingers twirling playfully around the cord. She restrained a mock of pain as a new contraction came to tense her whole body and she smiled with difficulty at the midwife standing in front of her; waiting patiently.

"What can I do for you, honey?"

"You're ready for the labor room, now."

While Lois' voice had considerably calmed down the millionaire, a new wave of fear spread over her face before the imminent labor. It was five in the morning, her hair was a mess and she could barely keep her eyes open; exhausted by the pain. If it weren't for the joy to see her own child, she would have thrown a fit a long time ago. Coming back to the receiver, she swallowed hard; her eyes fixed on Will who was smiling peacefully.

"Oh mom… Here we are…"

"Please end up the call, Karen."

The millionaire sent a frosty look to the midwife who understood right away she should have stayed quiet and she would certainly not give her any order. Seeing the despair of the professional, the attorney made a sign to Karen and she nodded quietly. The nurses began to move away the stretcher to lead her to the appropriate room and as they were all reaching the door, the group realized that the dark-haired woman was still holding the phone; speaking nervously to her mother.

"Please end up the call now, Karen"

"Just one second more; I swear I'm going to…"

The nurses moved the stretcher a few inches more and all of a sudden a huge crackling noise made the whole group jump in surprise; turning instinctively towards the direction it came from. Instead of the base of the phone was hanging now a big hole in the middle of the wall; above the bedside table. Knowing she had been a bit too far, Karen smiled shyly while looking up at the faces staring at her in disbelief; then shrugged.

"Oups…"


	25. 55 per minute or a song for a new life

**_That star would be like my heart and me_**

**_Dedicated to you_**

Fifty-five per minute; a constant movement of contraction that produced the indispensable chemistry so that she may live on her own. It was a little under the norm; the average scientists had established a long time ago yet but it was just the way she used to be. Her heart had always beaten slowly; providing her a whole reserve of energy and so she didn't get tired as fast as the others. At the beginning she had been diagnosed as hyperactive and they had set off the irreversible Ritalin process with its series of sequels; addiction to pills, all sorts of drugs. But it was only a matter of heart; a natural peculiarity she had received while developing her body inside of her mother's. The medical mistake had never really made her suffer but things would have surely been different if she hadn't had to take this controversial medicine; some important aspects of her existence that she wanted to bury now, definitely.

Her usual so quiet organ was pounding loud against her chest and if she looked down at it, she could see her skin getting tensed under the beats. For the very first time Karen was experiencing the sudden race that adrenalin poured violently in the arteries leading to her heart and as much as the novelty of such emotion was interesting, for a couple of minutes the dark-haired woman couldn't help wondering if the organ wouldn't end up exploding; lacking so intensive training. The beep of the machines brought a singular rhythm to the situation; a sort of off beat flirting with her cardiac activity and her moans, her sighs in the background. Life was offering an odd concerto for efforts and needs.

Because it was all about feelings, developed senses even though she voluntarily pushed aside the smell of detergent; her symbol of death didn't have any room there now. Will's hand on her forehead was hot, almost unbearable when he put backwards a strand of hair that had made its way over her eyes; his palm absorbing at the same time some sweat drops before them running along her nape, disappearing on her back, along her spine. But the gesture found all its necessity once his fingers left her head and a wave of coolness seemed to spread over her whole body; until the next one. And she remained quiet all along, taken away by her concentration and the voluntary forgetting of all the rest. Her behavior had changed as soon as she had passed the doors of the labor room. When Grace asked her further questions later, she would be unable to tell her friend the color of the walls or how narrow the place had been. Her brain had eliminated those pointless details and she had just kept on breathing with a sincere motion of seriousness; an ounce of powerful feelings.

She closed her eyes and frowned, holding her breath; then swallowed hard, her head against the pillow. Was it smooth? She could barely feel it as a matter of fact. It was just there like the rest of the material and she simply didn't care. She looked aside at Will, breathless and passed her tongue over her lips. She was thirsty and a constant muscular pain had got her legs painful. The expression lighting up her eyes was unreadable; symbolizing to perfection the confusion of her actual feelings but she nonetheless managed a timid smile at him before coming back to her efforts. Somehow she still preferred her place to his. It must be weird and uncomfortable to witness the scene without taking an active part in it. The attorney probably felt in the way, lost in awkwardness and the millionaire wouldn't have liked it.

"Stop pushing now, Karen."

She let herself fall back on the pillow, finally relaxing her whole body, closing her eyes. A quick glance at Will and they heard the cries; then looked down instinctively.

"Here we have a perfect little girl… Congratulations!"

She couldn't help but jump in surprise as her skin made contact with the baby's; their own child. Looking at her daughter in disbelief for a couple of seconds, a wave of tears got trapped in her heart but she started smiling brightly and looked back at Will, her hazel eyes embracing his brown ones with all the sincerity of her soul.

Her shaking finger brushed the baby's back and she could feel the spine under the soft and fine skin. It was warm and as she caressed the little girl's cheek, a sensation of life spread over her heart. This wasn't a dream but reality and it sounded extremely appealing.

"Is she okay?"

The millionaire looked up at the midwife and the nurses going on around; waiting nervously for an answer.

"She seems to be on top form. Will, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

Trying to control the intimidating and terribly moving moment, the attorney nodded in silence; clearing his voice and frowning, concentrated on his task.

"Okay, that's perfect. Now does this little princess have a name?"

Karen bit her lower lip and plunged her eyes in Will's; waiting for the answer he was supposed to give. She knew he had chosen it a long time ago yet but even under kissing torture he had refused to reveal it to her. _You will have plenty of time to use it in the future._ That was his usual reply; his single weapon against the dark-haired woman's insistence.

"Yes, her name is Leah."

The midwife nodded and took the baby in her arms before a nurse taking her away for the traditional check-up and the end of Karen's labor.

"Then welcome to the world, Leah. You have a very brave mom, you know. She turned the whole floor upside down, broke a wall for some phone addiction but she gave birth to you in a remarkable way. You can be proud of her. Will, you can go out and make some calls or whatever in the meantime if you want to. I have to stay with Karen for the delivery and make sure there's no post-partum complication."

"How long does it take?"

"It's up to ten to twenty-five minutes if she delivers the placenta naturally. If she doesn't get it then we will have to take it off surgically."

In front of Will and Karen's frightened faces, the midwife smiled and shook her head.

"Don't be worried about it. Everything will be alright; I'm here to check that."

Vaguely pressing on the millionaire's still swollen stomach, the professional finally nodded and looked up at both parents.

"It shouldn't take too long. The contractions are already coming back. It's okay, Will. You can trust me."

The attorney sighed and turned around to face Karen. Leaning over he planted a soft kiss on her lips and let his mouth slide to her ear in a sweet whisper that made her smile brightly.

"You have no idea how I'm in love with you now."


	26. Epilogue

**_To you because with you I know_**

**_A lifetime could be just one heavenly day_**

She turned on her stomach and leaned on the back of her hands, looking dreamingly at the baby sleeping next to her. It was a sunny day, a peaceful weekend before the nonetheless imminent rush of Christmas shopping; crowded streets and carols invading New York while the first snow drops began to fall over the buildings, taking away in their white whirls the excitement and the joy of this period of the year.

"Is she sleeping?"

Grace came in, sitting down on the floor next to Karen who was laid in bed; her face now resting against some smooth pillow. She didn't say a word, just nodded and smiled at her friend before restraining a yawn.

"Are you okay, Kare?"

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired."

The millionaire finally abandoned the contemplation of her daughter and fixed her hazel eyes on the red-haired woman. The phone rang downstairs; a stifled rhythm of some well-known melody but very soon someone picked up the item, probably Will, and so put an end to the singular music that had lit up the flat all of a sudden; briefly.

"How are things going at the office?"

Grace laughed, surprised by such professional interest coming from the most peculiar assistant the world had ever had but still, the interior designer couldn't help but appreciate Karen's question and so she gladly answered.

"Well of course there's a lot going on. I'm jumbling with four different contracts…"

"What are you talking about, honey? I'm speaking about The Office on NBC. I missed the last episodes because of miss "I love waking up every four hours or so to get my milk dose". Toby's supposed to leave, isn't he?"

"Oh, I don't know… I haven't watched it in a while."

"Grace I need you downstairs. Your mother is about to invade New York."

Both women jumped as they heard the unexpected voice of the attorney resounding in a crashing and stifled motion from the bedroom. Karen passed her hand under a pillow and grabbed a babyphone; then tended it to her friend so that she may reply to Will.

The interior designer stood up and was about to leave the room when Karen stopped her with a nonchalant question. She wasn't even looking at her but already plunged into the reading of some baby fashion magazine.

"What kind of contracts are they?"

"Two of them are for the integrality of the flats and the other ones are just a bathroom and a terrace."

Still looking down at the publication, apparently extremely interested in a kimono top designed by Agatha Ruiz de la Prada but her final frowning and concentration on another page let clearly understand that the bright colors used didn't match her own taste, Karen went on.

"Bring me your sketches as soon as you have something. I will have a look at them and write down the minutes. That's something I can do anywhere as long as I have a computer; no big deal."

Grace leaned her head on a side and smiled brightly. The millionaire was still pretending to ignore her in the most scandalous and inhuman way but her words contrasted sharply with her behavior. She was sweet, icy sweet; and the red-haired woman loved it.

He approached his finger slowly and Leah's ones grabbed it with strength and vitality; making full contact with his skin. Almost amazed by the baby's gesture, Jack turned around and flashed a bright smile at Will who was observing the scene a few steps away on one of the sofas of the living room. The actor shook his head and stared at his friend in disbelief; an ounce of tease sparkling devilishly in his blue eyes.

"I can't believe you managed to get a so cute daughter. Thank God you chose Karen. It saved all it up."

The attorney didn't reply. He just waited for the inevitable moment when Jack's face would adopt a mock of unexpected pain caused by Leah's addiction to bite into fingers. It didn't take too long and after putting down on the table his coffee mug, he offered his friend the brightest hypocrite smile ever.

"You're right. She got everything from her mother, even the sharp teeth. They're still invisible but I'm sure you can feel them pretty well, can't you?"

Grace and the millionaire came back from the spa a couple of hours later as Will was putting the final touch to the dinner and Jack was playing on his own with Leah's doll. It was the first time since she had given birth that Karen left the house without her daughter and as much as she knew she needed a break, some time for herself, she was glad to be back and the peaceful features of the sleeping baby relieved her heart; somehow.

"Do you breast feed her?"

The dark-haired woman nodded evasively as her eyes weren't fixed on Grace's mother but the way Will was pouring champagne into Lois and Marilyn's glasses; George in the background, on the phone.

"Yes I do. As a matter of fact I alternate. It allows Will to take part in it too and gives me some more freedom for my own schedule."

Finally fixing her attention on Bobby, Karen smiled friendly.

"You know, just in case I need to go out or something."

"Of course, darling; I completely agree with you. I would have loved being so independent too by then but you know how it is... Another time, another mentality… Anyway, this little party to celebrate Leah's birth is a wonderful idea. Your mother just told me how proud she was of you. She's looking forward to taking care of her granddaughter, you know."

The dark-haired woman couldn't restrain an ironical laugh as an icy wave of discomfort ran through her body and came to rest on her soul; still carrying on the weight of her past and her childhood injuries that Leah's birth had stirred up violently. Crossing her arms against her chest in a protective attempt, the bitter smile she gave tasted of regrets and pain; anger wandering somewhere close to her heart. A quick glance at Lois and she frowned, swallowing back her tears and the defeat of some wishes she may have had once. She bit her lower lip and plunged her eyes in Bobby's; then murmured sharply.

"That's another story."


End file.
